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Quotes

  • The Doctor: "I'm 907 years old. Do you understand what that means?"
    Amy Pond: "It's been awhile?"
    The Doctor: "Yeah, No. No, No!" - Doctor Who 5.5. 2017-12-11 18:56.
  • "We hope you that don't mind our producer was caught doing blow." - Studio 60 1.2. 2017-11-19 21:13.
  • "This is 2014, women are smart now!" - Dave Skylark, The Interview. 2017-11-16 18:56.
  • "What's life. Life's easy. A quirk of matter. Nature's way of keeping meat fresh. Nothing to a nanogene." - The Doctor, Doctor Who (2005) 1.10. 2017-11-14 17:32.
  • Marge: "I was going to ask you if you could watch Maggie."
    Homer: "Oh yeah, of course. What do you suspect?" - The Simpsons 29.3. 2017-11-12 19:38.
  • Barney: "Ted, where do you keep your condoms?"
    Ted: "What are you going to do to me?" - HIMYM bloopers. 2017-11-12 18:18.
  • Ruby: "You want to know how to court me?"
    Sam: "Yes, yes I would."
    Ruby: "Take off this shit [music], put on something good and pour me some more wine." - Happy Accidents. 2017-11-07 16:53.
  • "I love yellow alerts; it means somebody's in trouble and it's not you." - Rimmer. Red Dwarf 12.4. 2017-11-06 18:13.
  • "This is so fucking cool." - Sylvia Tilly, Star Trek Discovery 1.5. 2017-10-31 20:09.
  • "You don't name the company 'Microsoft' when you're getting some." - Homer, The Simpsons 28.16. 2017-10-29 22:28.
  • "There's a little coffee shop on Lafayette Street called Central Perk. My friends are there. Just, please, don't hurt the monkey." - Cmdr. Kelly Grayson, The Orville 1.4.
  • "She's so perfect, sometimes I think she isn't real. And then she goes to the bathroom, and I know she is." - Bert, TBBT. 2017-10-26 17:17.
  • "I thought you'd never call." - Sam, West Wing 7.19. 2017-10-25 19:33.
  • "Looks like a gremlin nailed a quokka." - David regarding a Porg. 2017-10-11 10:21.
  • "I studied a lot in school. I studied hard in high school and at Harvard and in law school. My IQ doesn't break the bank and I wanted to do this so I studied all the time. And I missed something or it's like I skipped a year 'cause I never learned what you do after you think you like somebody - what you do next. And every- everybody did learn... a lot of other people, anyway." - Josh, West Wing 3.11. 2017-09-30 16:00.
  • Doctor Crusher: "Here's a question you shouldn't be able to answer. Computer, what is the nature of the universe?"
    Computer: "The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter." - Star Trek TNG 4.5. 2017-09-09 17:42.
  • "I'm pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary." - Brittany, Glee 1.16. 2017-09-03 19:18.
  • "Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?" - Brittany, Glee 1.14. 2017-09-03 18:16.
  • "I don't know why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he's cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of four is rainbows." - Kurt re Finn, Glee 1.10. 2017-09-03 14:55.
  • Jennifer: "McKay, do you want to have a drink with me or not?"
    Rodney: "What are you... you want to have a drink?"
    Jennifer: "You're not very good at this are you?"
    Rodney: "Oh no, no I'm not." - Stargate Atlantis 4.16. 2017-08-27 15:04.
  • "The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead." - Maz, The Force Awakens. 2017-08-19 19:23.
  • Margaret: "Not very persistent, are you?"
    Crockett: "You know, I like this game already."
    Margaret: "Sometimes the best things are the hardest to get."
    Crockett: "Yeah, but the hardest to get aren't always the best."
    Margaret: "You expecting me to swoon and fall into your arms?"
    Crockett: "I wasn't expecting a hit and run, buy you a drink?"
    Margaret: "You're hopelessly conventional."
    Crockett: "Buy me a drink."
    Margaret: "That's better. How about you buy yourself a drink and just try to get over me." - Miami Vice 2.1. 2017-08-11 20:36.
  • "Hammond is insisting SG-1 needs a socio-political nerd to off-set our overwhelming coolness." - Jack O'Neill, SG-1 6.1. 2017-08-01 18:24.
  • "We monorail conductors are a crazy breed half in love with death, gobbling up danger like ordinary men eat peanuts." - Homer, Simpsons 4.12. 2017-07-25 18:33.
  • "Tell me, do they still sing songs of the Great Tribble Hunt?" - Odo, DS9 5.6. 2017-07-24 20:32.
  • Selma: "Bob, would you mind rubbing my feet?
    Sideshow Bob: <shudder> - Simpsons 3.21. 2017-07-24 20:06.
  • "USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails." - David. 2017-07-08 06:17.
  • "Ministers can never think after a good lunch; it interferes with their digestion." - Cowley, The Professionals 4.15. 2017-07-03 21:12.
  • "You will not be harmed; you will be upgraded." - Cyberman, Doctor Who 10.12. 2017-07-03 19:48.
  • Dick: "Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?"
    Batman: "No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic." - The Batman Lego Movie. 2017-07-01 19:05.
  • Computer: "What is the password?"
    Batman: "Iron Man sucks." - The Batman Lego Movie. 2017-07-01 18:39.
  • "Law 46: life isn't always fair." - Ensign Robin Lefler, Star Trek: TNG 5.6, The Game. 2017-06-29 20:15.
  • "Law 17: when all else fails, do it yourself." - Ensign Robin Lefler, Star Trek: TNG 5.6, The Game. 2017-06-29 20:09.
  • "If you're still the cool funny dorky dude I know with the best kind of subtle humour you'll be just fine." - LS, ~2017-06-27 19:00.
  • "The belonging you seek is not behind you... it is ahead." - Maz Kanata, The Force Awakens, 2017-06-22 22:42.
  • Wiggum: "According to the charter I'm supposed to get a pig every month, and two comely lasses of virtual true."
    Quimby: "Keep the pigs, how many broards do I get?" - Simpsons 4.12 Monorail, 2017-06-04 20:27.
  • "People in covfefe houses shouldn’t throw covfefe" - @HillaryClinton, 2017-06-01 20:25.
  • "Here at NASA we all pee the same color." - Al Harrison, Hidden Figures, 2017-05-31 20:24.
  • "If we wanted to be bored we could go to Luxembourg." - Dutch girls, Malcolm in the Middle 7.7, 2017-05-30 19:57. (bitches)
  • "So, I have a spirit level on the coffee table; I'm going to time lapse record it to prove world is flat." - David, 2017-05-30 14:18.
  • "Yes, no, maybe, I don't know. Can you repeat the question?" - Malcolm in the Middle, 2017-05-21 18:17.
  • "The minute you develop feelings for someone you get scared and find some way to sabotage things." - Niles, Frasier 11.2. 2017-05-14 19:39.
  • "I'm so sorry, but listen to me, you can't blame yourself for letting someone into your heart. Love is a always risk but you have to take it. The pain you're feeling now will pass in time and you'll find your self willing to thake that risk again. Until then take comfort in your friends. They want to help you. They love you." - Frasier, Frasier 9.22. 2017-05-11 23:12.
  • On two occasions I have been asked, - "Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?" In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. - Passages from the Life of a Philosopher (1864), ch. 5 "Difference Engine No. 1" - 2017-05-xx.
  • Frasier: "Oh, Niles. Well I'm surprised to see you up so soon. Feel alright?"
    Niles: "I feel, not bad. A little dry. When I blink it makes a scratching noise." - Frasier 6.19. 2017-05-03 21:10.
  • John Rajeski: "How is Niles, anyway?"
    Frasier: "Ah, er... ah, he's abroad now."
    John Rajeski: "Really? Whoa, that must have hurt." - Frasier 4.10. 2017-04-30 19:34.
  • "Ok, I want you to walk back in there and very calmly, very politely tell the risk-assessors to fuck-off!" - Mark Baum, The Big Short. 2017-04-25 14:14.
  • "Don't stare at me, Eddie. I'm a humane man but right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan." - Frasier, Frasier 2.14. 2017-04-21 22:24.
  • "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness; that is life." - Picard, TNG 2.21. 2017-04-21 10:19.
  • "You kill me, you know. You get exactly what you want and you're still not happy. Frasier, life is not hard: you make it hard. You don't just let things happen and enjoy it, you gotta analyze everything to death. You could learn a big lesson from this dog here." - Martin, Frasier 2.1. 2017-04-20 19:46.
  • "I suppose I just fall in love too fast. The minute I feel that spark I just give my heart away." - Daphne, Frasier 1.17. 2017-04-19 19:58.
  • "Sometimes the strongest feelings come from the promise of what might happen. Just the anticipation is just enough to make all the little hairs on your neck stand on end." - Niles, Frasier 1.17. 2017-04-18 19:52.
  • "Ames, if this man shoots me, I want you to kill him... and I want you to go clear my browser history." - Griggs, Suicide Squad. 2017-04-18 17:22.
  • "You see, I was clinging to a life that wasn't working, and I knew I had to do something, anything." - Frasier, Frasier 1.1. 2017-04-16 19:37.
  • "Old flames are like old tax returns; put them in the filing cabinet for three years then you cut them loose." - The Family Man. 2017-04-14 15:25.
  • "For future reference, right handed men don't hold it with their left." - Doctor (after taking urine sample), Gattaca. 2017-04-14 15:08.
  • Chandler: "So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night. Saturday night!"
    Joey: "No plans, huh?"
    Chandler: "Not a one." - Friends 1.5. 2017-04-08 18:24.
  • "When you're single you've got to hope the next new girl is 'the one'. - Ted, HIMYM 5.18. 2017-04-01 21:15.
  • "I believe war is very messy and unless you're in the middle of it it's very easy to point the finger." - Hetty, NCIS LA 3.6. 2017-03-16 20:58.
  • Joey: "I play Doctor Drake Ramoray."
    Sarah: "I'm sorry, I don't own a TV."
    Joey: "You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at?" - Friends 9.23. 2017-02-18 19:40.
  • "Dinner for six for one. You boys are about to see something really special." - Joey, Friends 9.5. 2017-02-14 18:06.
  • Joey: "Guess what job I just got?"
    Chandler: "I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black." - Friends 4.11. 2017-01-22 18:07.
  • Joey: "It's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship."
    Monica: "It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship." - Friends 3.17. 2017-01-21 19:17.
  • Rastatter: "Hi, thanks for coming in again."
    Monica: "Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash."
    Rastatter: "It's like I'm looking in the mirror. Anyway, they're called Fishtachios. They taste exactly like pistachios but they're made primarily from reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one."
    Monica: "Alright."
    Rastatter: "Oh, you're not allergic to anything are you?"
    Monica: "Cat hair."
    Rastatter: "Oh, sorry." - Friends 2.8. 2017-01-16 20:22.
  • Ross: "You know what? I'd better pass on the game. I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover."
    Joey: "The hell with hockey. Let's all do that!" - Friends 1.4. 2017-01-14 13:36.
  • Jane Foster: "What happened?"
    Thor: "He's fine! We drank, we fought - he made his ancestors proud!" - Thor. 2017-01-08 14:44.
  • McKay: [to Neil deGrasse Tyson] "Hey, at least I didn't declassify Pluto from planet status. Way to make all the little kids cry, Neil. That make you feel like a big man?". Stargate Atlantis 5.16. 2017-01-01 13:54.
  • McKay: "Right, but do we need to make friends with every primitive agrarian society in the Pegasus galaxy?"
    Sheppard: "Alright, that's enough. They can't all be planets with cool technology and open-minded women." - Stargate Atlantis 2.15. 2016-12-27 18:29.
  • "You of all people should know that I don't believe anything anybody says, even if I understand what they're talkin' about!" - O'Neill, SG-1 10.14. 2016-12-24 16:39.
  • Bra'tac: "She displays the wisdom of a battle seasoned warrior."
    Jackson: "She's a mother. Close enough." - SG-1 10.7. 2016-12-23 18:55.
  • "Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board." - Leia, Star Wars. 2016-12-18 18:44.
  • "I should be clear; I like the promotion, pay check and parking spot, but I don't really want to be in charge of anything." - O'Neill, SG-1 8.2. 2016-12-14 20:16.
  • "Oh, Felix. You do really make a terrible human being. And I mean that as a compliment." - Maeve, Westworld 1.10. 2016-12-05 17:42.
  • "The gods are pussies." - Armistice, Westworld 1.10. 2016-12-05 17:42.
  • "I only understand about 1% of what she says half the time." - O'Neill, SG-1 5.5. 2016-12-03 16:03.
  • "Last night I slept inside a Rubik's Cube with Kylo Ren." - Jack, The Great Indoors 1.3. 2016-11-12 20:16.
  • "Why I would want to go to a strip club? I'm married to a naked lady." - Homer, Simpsons 28.6. 2016-11-07 18:12.
  • Bones: "You gave your girlfriend a tracking device?"
    Spock: "That was not my intention." - Star Trek Beyond. 2016-11-05 09:54.
  • Viktor Cherevin: "You Americans like to think of yourselves as direct, but I wonder if perhaps you are just rude."
    Jack Ryan: "You Russians think of yourselves as poets but perhaps you're just touchy." - Jack Ryan Shaddow Recruit. 2016-10-30.
  • "Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry." ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time. 2016-10-21 06:55.
  • "I can only tell you the truth sir i can't make you believe it." - TFTFD. 2016-10-18 07:30.
  • "Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y. Confidence." - Bean, Grown Ups 2. 2016-10-15 19:04.
  • "In life the first act is always exciting. The second act... that is where the depth comes in." - Goria, Grown Ups. 2016-10-15 18:44.
  • "Escape now. Hug later." - Han, Star Wars 7. 2016-10-13 21:21
  • "She's a awfully hostile for a girl named Joy." - Jack, What Happens in Vegas. 2016-10-10 16:20.
  • "So I'm at the drug store and it dawns on me that women stare at men carrying a baby like a guy will stare at a woman with a great rack." - Messer, Life As We Know It. 2016-10-10 14:45.
  • Blackadder: "So you're a chap, are you, Bob?"
    Kate: "Oh, yes, sir. Ha ha ha ha grrr..."
    Blackadder: "You wouldn't say you're a girl at all?"
    Kate: "Oh, definitely not, sir. I understand cricket, I fart in bed, everything." - Blackadder 4.3. 2016-10-07 21:33.
  • "Before we sentence the deceased, I mean defendant, I think we had better hear from the prosecution." - General Melchett, Blackadder 4.2. 2016-10-07 21:07.
  • "Why am I telling you this? You're worse than I am. You'd sleep at the office if you could. Let me tell you how it turns out. You end up with... with nothing. Nothing." - Mike Pomeroy, Morning Glory. 2016-10-01 16:25,
  • "Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust or just fall apart where I'm standing?" - Marvin, HHGTTG. 2016-09-19 17:41.
  • "Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they tell me to take you up to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? Cause I don't." - Marvin, HHGTTG. 2016-09-19 17:31.
  • "In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and has widely been considered as a bad move." - HHGTTG, 2016-09-19 17:26.
  • Albert: "The guy is one of the best shots around, I look like I have Parkinson's next to him."
    Louise: "What is that?"
    Albert: "It's just another way god mysteriously shows that he loves us." - A Million Ways to Die in the West. 2016-09-17 17:57.
  • "Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought that I was once." - White Goodman, Dodgeball. 2016-09-17 14:52.
  • "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball." - Patches O'Houlihan, Dodgeball. 2016-09-13 20:02.
  • "Oh come on, Ray. Let's go home. I like home. I miss it. I've got near and dear ones at home. And there's this one particular redhead." - Bodie, The Professionals 2.5. 2016-09-09 17:58.
  • Geraldine Mather: "William Andrew Philip Bodie?"
    Bodie: "Yeah, all the princes. I was such a regal looking baby." - The Professionals 2.2. 2016-09-08 19:02.
  • Cop: "You CI5 boys think you're the cats' whiskers don't you?"
    Bodie: "Well at least we're at the right end of the cat." - The Professionals 1.3. 2016-09-04 19:26.
  • Rowan Atkinson (yelling out the front window): "Why don't you grow up you little bastards?"
    Pamela Stephenson: "What's going on, darling?"
    Rowan: "Nothing, I'm just talking to the plants" - Not the Nine O'clock News. 2016-09-04 13:44.
  • "One of my most productive days was throwing away 1000 lines of code." — Ken Thompson. 2016-09-03 13:20.
  • Kamala: "What is it about me you fear?"
    Picard: "Kamala..."
    Kamala: "Do you find me unattractive?"
    Picard: "I find you unavailable." - TNG 5.21. 2016-08-31 19:57.
  • "Riker to bridge, if anyone needs me I'll be on holodeck 4." - Riker, TNG 5.21. 2016-08-31 19:51.
  • Hetty: "Take Monday off, you've earned it."
    Callen: "Today's Monday, Hetty."
    Hetty: "Oh. Then I'll see you tomorrow." - NCISLA 7.4. 2016-08-29 20:23
  • "All right, kids, I've got to get to work. If I don't input those numbers... it doesn't make much of a difference." - Chandler, Friends 1.1. 2016-08-28 19:43.
  • Granger: "Those two meerkats you've got working in Ops are getting stranger."
    Hetty: "It takes a... a special kind of personality to do what they do."
    Granger: "Well, they're special alright. I think they need a window, or an exercise wheel." - NCISLA 5.14. 2016-08-23 17:14.
  • Wat: "I don't understand women."
    Chaucer: "Nor do I but they understand us. Maybe not you." - A Knight's Tale. 2016-08-21 18:23.
  • "You left, just when you were becoming interesting." - Henry Jones Sr. Indiana Jones 3. 2016-08-21 16:00.
  • "She needs backup, Anya, Tara." - Giles, Buffy 6.7. 2016-08-17 22:27. (wake up Bec)
  • "Sorry about that, chief." - Maxwell Smart, Get Smart. 2016-08-14 13:18.
  • "A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times: When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies." - Harry, Kingsman. 2016-08-06 16:28.
  • "Sometimes it's the very people who no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine." - The Imitation Game. 2016-08-06 14:06.
  • "Damn it Steve, we're men. It's our god-given right to watch sports and smut." - Al, MWC 1.2. 2016-06-04 20:15.
  • "Chaco Chicken. Good People. Good Food." - X-Files 2.24. 2016-08-03 18:13.
  • "If you ever have daughters, Josh, don't let them run off and marry pinheads." - POTUS, West Wing 6.11. 2016-07-29 20:07.
  • "We need to kill them. We need to find them and kill them. We kill them. Then we find out who sent them and we kill them too. You kill the people who did it, you kill the people who planned it then you kill everyone who was happy about it." - Josh, West Wing 5.21. 2016-07-27 18:50.
  • "Your father was captain of a Starship for 12 minutes. He saved 800 lives, including your mother's and yours. I dare you to do better." - Christopher Pike, Star Trek (2009). 2016-07-23 16:24.
  • "My daughter is dating a kid that is better looking than my wife." - POTUS, The West Wing 4.12. 2016-07-21 20:10.
  • "When you get home tonight you're going to be confronted by the instinct to drink alone. Trust that instinct. Manage the pain. Don't try to be a hero." - Toby, West Wing 4.11. 2016-07-21 19:41.
  • "Let's face it. This is not the worse thing you've caught me doing." - Tony Stark, Iron Man. 2016-07-08 19:46.
  • "Hammond, I need a brief exchange of words with you and there are only two of them and there are only 7 letters. Three of them are 'F'." - May, Top Gear Patagonia Special. 2016-07-06 19:42.
  • "Shorten not knowing how to eat a sausage is solid evidence politicians being swapped out for #lizzardpeople #ausvotes" - @politicotab. 2016-07-02 14:55.
  • "The truth is unlike you I never expected the thunderbolt. I always just hoped I'd meet some nice, friendly girl. Like the look of her. Hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, and pop the question and settle down, be happy." - Tom, Four Weddings and a Funeral. 2016-07-02 16:56.
  • "I had a cold shower this morning, my penis was like a press stud. Again." - Clarkson, Top Gear 19.6. 2016-06-30 17:22.
  • "Asking introverts too many questions makes them withdraw more." - Sara Lindberg. 2016-06-18 14:14.
  • "Sometimes you're wrong." - Gibbs' rule 51. NCIS 7.24. 2016-06-18 10:53.
  • "It's [the Ferrari Scuderia] like the bastard love child of Stephen Hawking and Rambo." - Clarkson, Top Gear 11.1. 2016-06-14 17:53.
  • "Oh come on, this is Sunnydale. How [much] bad and evil can there be?" - Buffy, Buffy 1.1. 2016-06-05 22:56.
  • "I believe in me. Because I was born tall, dark and beautiful... and engagingly modest, of course." - Bodie, Professionals 4.12. 2016-06-04 19:51.
  • "Stop taking my hand!" - Rey, Star Wars 7. 2016-05-22 20:07.
  • "He rode his bicycle into a tree, C.J., what do you want me - the President, while riding his bicycle, came to a sudden arboreal stop." - Leo, West Wing 1.1. 2016-05-21 20:45.
  • "He's a klutz, Mrs. Landingham, your president's a geek." - Leo, West Wing 1.1. 2016-05-21 20:44.
  • "I think it's better to have a guy be with you because he wants to be and not because he thinks he doesn't have any other choice." - Bernadette, TBBT 9.2. 2016-05-20 19:47.
  • "The trouble isn't with me, Penny, it's with your gender. As any scientist will discover that second X chromosome contains nothing but nonsense and twaddle." - Sheldon, TBBT 5.7. 2016-05-14 18:01.
  • "molly-guard: Originally a Plexiglas cover improvised for the Big Red Switch on an IBM 4341 mainframe after a programmer's toddler daughter (named Molly) tripped it twice in one day. Later generalised to covers over stop/reset switches on disk drives and networking equipment." - wiktionary. 2016-05-14 15:49.
  • "Attaboy, Hofstatdter. Nothing gets the ladies hotter than software development analogies." - Leonard, TBBT 5.14. 2016-05-14 10:26.
  • Priya: "It's a little weird your ex-girlfriend hanging out here all the time."
    Leonard: "I know, I usually never see my ex-girlfriends, unless their hard drives crash." - TBBT 4.18. 2016-05-12 20:12.
  • "The odds of that are one in not bloody likely." - Abby, NCIS 13.23. 2016-05-11 18:45.
  • "I miss the 80s but you don't see me snorting blow off a DeLorean." - Berta, TAAHM 7.20. 2016-05-07 17:17.
  • Marion: "I'm sure I wasn't the only one to go on with my life, there must have been plenty of women for you over the years."
    Indiana: "There were a few, but they all had the same problem."
    Marion: "Yeah what's that?"
    Indiana: "They weren't you, honey." - Indiana Jones 4, 2016-05-06 19:27.
  • "But it turns out that the best technology doesn’t always win, just like the smartest people don’t always succeed." - BBC. 2016-05-06 07:54.
  • "What's Sheldon's deal? ... Is it girls, guys, sock puppets?" - Penny, TBBT 2.6. 2016-05-05 21:00.
  • "What good is having a girlfriend if you can't unload your psychological sewage on her?" - Sheldon, TBBT 9.19. 2016-05-02 18:57.
  • Han: "You might need this [blaster]."
    Rey: "I think I can handle myself."
    Han: "I know you do, that's why I'm giving it to you." - Star Wars 7. 2016-04-29 23:02.
  • "Friends are like toilet paper; it's good to have extras under the sink." - Sheldon, TBBT 9.22. 2016-04-29 18:19.
  • Roy: "I didn't know you did the whole lonely hearts thing."
    Moss: "I'm a 32 year old IT consultant who works in the basement. Yes, I do the whole lonely hearts thing." - IT Crowd 1.3. 2016-04-27 20:43.
  • Peter: "Gretchen, wow you look great!"
    Gretchen: "Yeah, I didn't have kids." - Family Guy 14.17. 2016-04-26 19:43.
  • "Awareness is the first step, before thinking about caring, about a specific thing." - Meredith, American Dad 12.12. 2016-04-25 21:45.
  • "It's touched down over the Atlantic."
    "Which part?"
    "All of it." - ID4.2 trailer. 2016-04-24 09:59.
  • Moss: "Did you and her hit it off?"
    Roy: "Define "hit it off"."
    Moss: "Did she continue talking to you once you fixed her computer?"
    Roy: "No. And while I was working on it she rested a cup on my back." - IT Crowd 1.1. 2016-04-23 14:07.
  • "In my experience if a girl says yes to being taped... [smile]... she doesn't say no to much else." - Joey, Friends 9.7. 2016-04-20 19:46.
  • "Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never even gave you a chance did they?" - Ross, Friends 8.4. 2016-04-17 20:45.
  • "She was the one who suggested opening the bottle of wine. She was the one that turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent 'Logan's Run', the sexiest movie ever." - Ross, Friends 7.19. 2016-04-16 20:52.
  • Han: "Leia..."
    Leia: "Don't do that."
    Han: "Do what?"
    Leia: "Anything."
    3PO: "Princesses!" - Star Wars 7. 2016-04-15 19:44.
  • "Women always figure out the truth. Always." - Han Solo, Star Wars 7. 2016-04-15 19:12. [smiling as I type 'Han Solo']
  • "And helicopters as we know are like women as far as men are concerned because as a friend of mine said you know they work and you trust them but if you make any effort to understand them whatsoever you'll be too terrified to go near them." - James May, The Reassembler 1.1. 2016-04-09 14:45.
  • "Rules are good. Rules control the fun." - Monica, Friends 5.5. 2016-04-08 20:40.
  • "Chandler, you don't just give up after you have a fight. I mean, if you do that you'd never have a relationship lasting longer than... Ohhh." - Monica, Friends 5.5. 2016-04-08 20:37.
  • "I need to flip the light switch on and off seventeen times before I leave a room or my family will die." - Scott, Friends 4.11. 2016-04-06 19:38.
  • Joey: "Why can't we use the same toothbrush but we can use the same soap?"
    Chandler: "Because soap is soap; it's self-cleaning.
    Joey: "Alright, well next time you take a shower think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash." - Friends, 2.16. 2016-04-02 20:18.
  • Monica: "Phoebes, you remember how we told you about saying things quietly to yourself first?"
    Phoebes: "Yes, but there isn't always time!" - Friends 1.19. 2016-03-30 21:10
  • "Could you want her more?" - Chandler to Ross re Rachel, Friends 1.18. 2016-03-30 20:36.
  • "They're very pretty Colonel. Very pretty. But can they fight?" - Donald Sutherland, The Dirty Dozen. 2016-03-26 14:37.
  • "Which one of you guys wants to be a General?" - Lee Marvin, The Dirty Dozen. 2016-03-26 14:35.
  • "I don't want you to be the guy who lives in his stories... life only moves forward." - Tracy, HIMYM 9.19. 2016-03-23 18:52.
  • "Do you want to keep playing or do you want to win?" - Tracy, HIMYM 9.8. 2016-03-21 19:43.
  • "And that kids, is the kind of stupid thing you say before you've met the person who hits the reset button on the world. Who makes everything new again. Who makes it seem ridiculous that you ever considered settling." - Ted, HIMYM 9.8. 2016-03-21 19:19.
  • "One day you'll be the best thing to ever happen to someone." - Unknown. 2016-03-18 19:09.
  • "The truth is, I thought I'd be married by now and going through all this stuff alongside you guys. But even if I meet the girl of my dreams right this second I'm still one night and nine months away from having a family of my own. And that's assuming the mother of my children is just a huge slut." - Ted, HIMYM 7.4. 2016-03-16 19:23.
  • Robin: "What's a nice word for selfish?"
    Marshall: "Independent." - HIMYM 5.7. 2016-03-12 22:00.
  • "There are 10 types of people - those who understand binary, and those who have regular sex." - TheDailyWTF. 2016-03-12 21:07.
  • Barney: "A hug is just like a public dry hump."
    Marshall: "I think you're hugging wrong." - HIMYM 4.16. 2016-03-11 21:49.
  • "Talking to a woman I've already had sex with; that's like putting oil in a rental car." - Barney, HIMYM 3.15. 2016-03-10 20:44.
  • "The best time to understand how your system works is when it is dying." - Gavin Stevenson. 2016-03-08 18:20.
  • "Never complain and never explain." - Benjamin Disraeli, 1804-1881. 2016-03-08 18:12.
  • "Any time you have a company that is growing quickly and is impeding upon somebody else's business, you're going to have people that are scared s---less and want to do everything they can to trash those businesses because they're cutting into their profit, their margins and their business." - Ashton Kutcher. 2016-03-06 20:34.
  • Blackadder: "Now, criminal record?"
    Baldrick: "Absolutely not."
    Blackadder: "Come on Baldrick you're going to be a MP for god's sake. I'll just put 'fraud and sexual deviance'." - Blackadder 3.1. 2016-03-03 21:01.
  • Paige: "Before Toby what was your longest relationship?"
    Happy: "I had an orbital sander for 9 years." - Scorpion 2.18. 2016-03-01 19:57.
  • "First of all, I'm a registered Republican, I only seem liberal because I believe that hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure and not gay marriage." - Will, 'The Newsroom' 1.4. 2016-02-27 10:51.
  • "Fox hired someone with three Mohammeds in their name?" - Will, 'The Newsroom' 1.2. 2016-02-26 21:59.
  • "By not entering financial information into "Quicken", I have saved many hours of valuable time, which I am able to use productively by playing "hearts". This is a card game that you can play on a computer. In the version I have, you play against three computerized opponents, whom the computer labels "Anna", "Lynda", and "Terri". They are vicious sluts and I hate them." - Dave Barry, 'The Plot Quickens'. 2016-02-26 16:35.
  • "Things are only impossible until they are not!" - Picard, Star Trek TNG 1.17. 2016-02-21 22:29.
  • "If winning is not important, then Commander, why keep score?" - Worf, Star Trek TNG 1.14. 2016-02-21 20:28.
  • "Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see." - Mozzie, White Collar 6.5. 2016-02-21 10:31.
  • "If you want a happy ending it depends on where you stop the story." - Neil Caffrey, White Collar 3.11. 2016-02-13 19:42.
  • "I think there's a difference between loving the idea of someone and actually loving who they really are." - Elizabeth Burke, White Collar 1.14. 2016-02-08 20:07.
  • "There is an inexplicable fog that descends upon people where computers are concerned." - Martin Summers. 2016-02-06 12:03.
  • "The Royal Defence Strategist has announced he has analysed the reason for the current behaviour of the USA he says 'The Americans are trying to make up for the fact they were late for the last two world wars by being really punctual this time.'" - Not The 9 O'Clock News. 2016-02-05 21:59.
  • "Mulder, the internet is not good for you." - Scully, X-Files 10.3. 2016-02-04 18:47.
  • "Women want the illusion of being chased; they don't actually want to be chased." - DiNozzo, NCIS 12.18. 2016-01-31 20:02.
  • "When the world overwhelms I find the best thing to do is start by accomplishing just one little thing." - Ducky, NCIS 12.7. 2016-01-31 11:51.
  • Borin: "It's hostage negotiation 101, DiNozzo - keep 'em stalled, keep 'em calm, keep 'em talking."
    DiNozzo: "Just like dating." - NCIS 12.5. 2016-01-31 10:21.
  • Maggie: "Why didn't you ever marry? You had so much love to give."
    Ducky: "A colleague, and a very good friend of mine, lost his soulmate and then he nearly wrecked his life marrying the wrong woman over and over trying to find her again. I... chose to skip that part." - NCIS 12.3. 2016-01-31 08:56.
  • "You wouldn't feel the way you feel right now if you weren't ready." - Gibbs to Palmer who is not sure he's ready to be a dad. NCIS 11.17. 2016-01-30 15:41.
  • DiNozzo: "Men don't have bilogical clocks. When I meet Ms. Right, I'll be ready to settle down."
    Gibbs: "Don't ever settle, DiNozzo." - NCIS 7.21. 2016-01-24 14:35.
  • "Will you ask her what a question mark wedged between two dollar signs means because it sounds kind of kinky to me." - DiNozzo re text message, NCIS 7.7. 2016-01-23 16:41.
  • Ralph: "A fish says 'moo'".
    Lisa, thinking: "This isn't going to last long."
    Ralph: "I still take baths in the sink."
    Lisa: "Ok, it's over. Sorry, Ralph."
    Ralph: "I'll be eating crayons for one." - Simpsons 27.11. 2016-01-11 19:27
  • "Gibbs is like Santa Claus, he knows if you've been lying." - Abby, NCIS 1.19. 2016-01-06 19:13.
  • "A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it's not that good." - seen online, 2016-01-06 09:10.
  • Gibbs: "Why is it that women always want to fix what doesn't need fixing?"
    Kate: "Makes us feel all warm inside."
    Gibbs: "So does scotch, but it doesn't cost you a house." - NCIS 1.8, 2016-01-04 18:13.
  • Penny, screams from her apartment: "SON OF A BITCH!"
    Leonard: "Penny's up."
    Penny: "YOU SICK, GEEKY BASTARDS!" - TBBT 1.2, 2016-01-02 20:30.
  • "You know what it's like getting up every morning feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man? But, at the same time, hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you?" - Albert, Hitch. 2015-12-31 21:42.
  • "Christmas is a bunch of balony invented by the tinsel industry." - Sheldon, TBBT 6.11, 2015-12-29 19:47.
  • Amy: "You know, when one male dominates another, his testosterone level rises."
    Sheldon: "What's your point?"
    Amy: "It's exciting to think you might be getting a testosterone level." - TBBT 6.6. 2015-12-29 17:49.
  • Leonard: "Once you open the box, it loses its value."
    Penny: "Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. Gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it." - TBBT 5.20. 2015-12-28 18:11
  • Sheldon: "Do you know where phrase 'jibber jabber' comes from?"
    Penny: "Oh my god, you're about to jibber jabber about jibber jabber." - TBBT 4.23. 2015-12-27 16:57.
  • "I won't say all senior citizens that can't master technology should be publicly flogged but if we make an example of one or two it might give the others an incentive to try harder." - Sheldon. TBBT 4.12. 2015-12-26 19:52.
  • "The truth is... I am Iron Man" - Tony Stark, Iron Man. 2015-12-26 16:36.
  • "There is no such thing as 'happy ever after'. It's just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard." - The Doctor, Doctor Who 9.13. 2015-12-26 08:48.
  • River Song: "If either of you use my name again I will remove your organs in alphabetical order. Any questions?"
    The Doctor: "Which alphabet?" - Doctor Who 9.13. 2015-12-26 07:53.
  • "Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway." - Robert Downey Jr. 2015-12-25 10:27.
  • "I'm a Hindu. My religion says that if we suffer in this life, we are rewarded in the next. Three months in the North Pole with Sheldon, and I'm reincarnated as a well-hung millionaire with wings." - Raj, TBBT 2.23. 2015-12-24 19:30.
  • Leonard: "We're all going over to the Apple store to make fun of the guys at the Genius Bar, do you want to come?"
    Sheldon: "Oh, I always enjoy that but I'm a little busy." - TBBT 2.17. 2015-12-24 17:19.
  • Howard: "Engineers are just as smart as physicists."
    Sheldon: "You take that back!" - TBBT 8.2. 2015-12-22 20:39.
  • "She should be kind, patient and most important unable to imagine life without me (by 10 o'clock tonight)." - Sheldon Cooper, TBBT 9.9. 2015-12-22 17:40.
  • "Yvonne McGruder. A single, brief, liaison with the ship's female boxing champion. March the sixteenth, seven thirty one PM to seven forty three PM. ... Twelve minutes. And that includes the time it took to eat the pizza." - Arnold Rimmer, Red Dwarf 2.3. 2015-12-20 18:09.
  • "I told you never to wash my underwear. Great, now I got to start all over again." - Roger, American Dad 8.9. 2015-12-15 20:59.
  • "We don't quit playing because we grow old, we grow old because we quit playing." - seen online. 2015-12-13 10:03.
  • "Join the IMF. See the world. On a monitor. In a closet." - Benji, Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. 2015-12-12 13:50.
  • "My sexuality is not a toy." - Alex, Joey 2.11. 2015-12-07 21:41.
  • "A medical board diagnosed Amelia with 'acute feminine overreachism'." - Lisa, The Simpsons 27.8. 2015-12-07 19:28.
  • Joey: "I send you to the video store, which 'Die Hard' movie do you bring back?"
    Interviewee: "The first one?"
    Joey: "I'm sorry, the correct answer is 'All three'!" - Joey 1.15. 2015-12-03 19:52.
  • Joey: "What are your three favourite things?"
    Dream girl, Donna: "Food, sex, watching TV." - Joey 1.9. 2015-12-02 21:20.
  • "It's like sex on a bicycle; it'll just come back to you." - Joey, Joey 1.8. 2015-12-02 21:09.
  • "It passed the first test; I didn't go blind." - Homer, Simpsons 3.10 Flaming Moe's. 2015-11-29 10:07
  • "Everyone knows that debugging is twice as hard as writing a program in the first place. So if you're as clever as you can be when you write it, how will you ever debug it?" - Brian Kernighan. 2015-11-28 13:28.
  • "Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them." - Albert Einstein. 2015-11-28 08:05.
  • "Even though Scully has been abducted by aliens and chipped she still gives Mulder grief every episode about him believing in aliens... Chicks" - David, 2015-11-23 18:38.
  • "You've enough plausible deniability to last the rest of your annoying lifes." - MiB, X-Files 4.7. 2015-11-22 19:51.
  • "The assignment is the assassination of an American civilian aged 46. Former naval PT boat commander. Married father of two." - MiB, X-Files 4.7. 2015-11-22 19:31.
  • "What doesn't kill us makes us stranger" - Jessica Jones 1.11, 2015-11-22 11:39.
  • "If you're in a war of culture and lifestyle with France, good fucking luck." - John Oliver, 2015-11-16 18:47.
  • "Back in the 22nd Century aerospace engineers discovered that after a plane crash, the only thing that always survives intact is a cute little doll, so they made Starbug out of the same stuff." - Lister, Red Dwarf 6.1. 2015-11-15 18:17.
  • "Why does peacekeeping always involve killing?" - The Doctor, Doctor Who 9.8. 2015-11-13 17:48.
  • "Generally I don't like to use the word girlfriend in case it is mistaken for affection" - Patrick, Coupling 3.6. 2015-11-12 21:37.
  • "Girlfriend is just a word like waitress or masseuse or valve." - Patrick, Coupling 3.6. 2015-11-12 21:37.
  • "I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." - Bart, The Simpsons 10.15. 2015-11-10 16:59.
  • "Look, it's the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like: naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that is what being a bloke is." - Steve, Coupling 1.4. 2015-11-07 00:05.
  • "Come with me if you want to live" - Sarah Connor, Terminator Genisys, 2015-11-06 18:24.
  • "Your aspirations clearly exceed your reality." - Agent Keen, The Blacklist 3.4. 2015-11-06 17:09.
  • Jay: "Siri, how do you perform CPR on a dog?"
    Siri: "I've found four places named Starbucks." - Sex Tape, 2015-11-01 15:51.
  • "No, I slept with other people, I always told her about it. Monogamy." Aldous Snow - Get Him to the Greek. 2015-11-01 13:36.
  • "What do I die of... naked girl avalanche?" - Homer, Treehouse of Horror XV. 2015-10-31 13:29.
  • "They actually took away all your fighters, so what are you? Farmers, fishermen, web designers? Maybe not that last one." - The Doctor, Doctor Who 9.6, 2015-10-25 11:00.
  • "That's kind of the price of being a super hero; no girls, no glory, no fame. Saving the world gets in the way of life." - Sylvester, Scorpion 2.5. 2015-10-21 21:14.
  • "He's been talking backwards all morning, I'm pretty sure it's a software issue." - Nell, NCIS LA 7.5. 2015-10-20 18:26.
  • "Life with no F is a lie" - Fortune cookie, Mad About You 2.17, 2015-10-18 20:32.
  • "Oh, enjoy these times, Geordi. You're the Chief Engineer of a starship; and that's a time of your life that'll never come again. When it's gone - it's gone." - Scotty, TNG 6.4. 2015-10-18 20:03.
  • "Ah, it's like the first time you fall in love. You don't ever love a woman quite like that again. Well, to the Enterprise, and the Stargazer - old girlfriends we'll never meet again." - Scotty, TNG 6.4, 2015-10-18 19:46.
  • "Starfleet captains are like children. They want everything right now and they want it their way. But the secret is to give them only what they need, not what they want." - Scotty, TNG 6.4, 2015-10-18 19:38.
  • "A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line." - Jerry, Conspiracy Theory. 2015-10-17 20:56.
  • "Serial killers only have two names. You ever notice that? But lone gunmen assassins, they always have three names." - Jerry, Conspiracy Theory. 2015-10-17 20:52.
  • "My life is a bacon-wrapped hell on earth." - Kermit, Muppets 1.1. 2015-10-13 18:16.
  • "If you take dating out of the equation she's just a lunatic." - Kermit, Muppets 1.1. 2015-10-13 18:15.
  • "If you're not out here in 2 seconds I'm going into your closet and moving all your clothes around... how does that mean I don't like your outfits?" - Paul Buchman, Mad About You 1.1. 2015-10-12 20:45.
  • The Doctor: "Clara, why don't I have a radio in the TARDIS?"
    Clara: "You took it apart and used the pieces to make a clockwork squirrel." - Doctor Who 9.3. 2015-10-11 14:35.
  • "Surely just being around me makes you cleverer by osmosis?" - The Doctor, Doctor Who 9.3. 2015-10-11 14:27.
  • "My PA reminds me that although I have a PhD in physics, women should remain a mystery." - Stephen Hawking. 2015-10-09 16:04.
  • "A diesel cabriolet is like a supermodel smoking a pipe." - James May, Top Gear 2.8. 2015-10-08 16:45.
  • "Hey, Tubbs. Have you ever considered a career in southern law enforcement?" - Crocket, Miami Vice 1.2. 2015-10-04 19:40.
  • "All praise Davros, creator and saviour of the Daleks" - Davros, Doctor Who 9.2. 2015-09-28 09:51.
  • "Love is a game that two can play and both win." - seen online. 2015-09-14 18:39.
  • "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - seen online. 2015-09-12 21:20.
  • "I wonder if our lizard overlords are conspiracy theorists..." - David. 2015-09-10 08:10.
  • "Don't ever grow up, it's a trap..." - seen online. 2015-09-06 16:38.
  • "Little girls grow up to be women, little boys grow up to be big little boys." - Stephen Fry, QI 10.14. 2015-08-26 17:18.
  • "A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby." - seen online. 2015-08-21 17:37.
  • "So, Dawn's in trouble... must be Tuesday." - Buffy, Once More, with Feeling. 2015-08-16 20:53.
  • Beckett: "You signed up to go to Mars, when?"
    Castle: "A couple of years ago."
    Beckett: "Where was I?"
    Castle: "We were fighting." - Castle 7.16. 2015-08-13 19:36.
  • "censorships exist to prevent anyone from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions" - George Bernard Shaw, 2015-08-11 14:58.
  • "Perfect families don't exist. It's gonna be up to you to find a way to make your baggage match their baggage. It's up to you to make your own history." - Lanie Parish, Castle 6.7. 2015-08-09 17:43.
  • "No, failure is giving up. Everybody gets rejected. It's how you handle it that determines where you'll end up." - Richard Castle. Castle 4.3. 2015-08-04 18:09.
  • Richard Castle: "How do you know when you're in love?"
    Kate Beckett: "All the songs make sense." - Castle 3.4. 2015-08-02 12:55.
  • "Mr. Castle? Detective Kate Beckett. NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight." - Castle 1.1. 2015-07-28 20:21.
  • "It's the perfect analogy, Burns as Goa'uld." - O'Neill, SG-1 7.21. 2015-07-22 20:29.
  • [to Jack, in her dream] "As long as I'm thinking about you, setting my sights on what I think is unattainable, there's no chance of being hurt by someone else." - Major Samantha Carter, SG-1 7.13. 2015-07-21 20:29.
  • Her'ak: "No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of."
    O'Neill: "You ended a sentence with a preposition, bastard!" - SG-1 6.8. 2015-07-18 18:46.
  • "There is no cloud – only someone else's computer" - Whirlpool. 2015-07-15 13:19.
  • "You're supposed to grow old with someone not because of them." - Riggs, Lethal Weapon 3. 2015-07-11 21:31.
  • "Let's do what did one shepherd say to the other shepherd. Let's get the flock out of here!" - Riggs, Lethal Weapon. 2015-07-01 16:04.
  • "General, for a few hours today I got to show that litle girl how to be a kid. If you want to punish me, go ahead." - Jack O'Neill, Stargate 3.5. 2015-07-09 19:09.
  • "Well, you got a price on your head, you're doing your job." - Jack O'Neill, SG-1 2.8. 2015-07-06 20:19.
  • "You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." - A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh. 2015-07-06 19:18.
  • Darcy: "I love you."
    Bart: "That is such a girl thing to say." - The Simpsons. 2015-06-27 21:32.
  • "Hello, 911? I need the police right away. This guy took my teddy bear. Hello?" - John, Ted. 2015-06-27 20:02.
  • "I think it's better to be known for failing than for failing to try." - Sean Parker, WAtoday, 2015-06-25 06:26.
  • Reporter: "How can you justify destroying a $7 million dollar mini mall to rescue a girl whose ransom was only $25,000 dollars?"
    Little Girl: "Fuck you, lady!"
    John Spartan: "Good answer!" - Demolition Man. 2015-06-20 15:19.
  • "'Abu el Banat' means 'father of daughters.' They thought the tea was the least they could do." - President Bartlet, West Wing 5.9. 2015-06-17 19:37.
  • Sam: "What happened to loyalty?"
    Victor: "You can't deposit it in a savings account." - West Wing 3.4. 2015-06-13 09:25.
  • Josh: "I met her twice, Toby."
    Sam: "Yeah but one of those times she broke your heart. You know the way women can do. The way they take your heart, they throw it on the floor and stomp on it with their big high heels." - The West Wing 1.20. 2015-06-07 19:57.
  • "Hi Senator, why don't you take your legislative agenda and shove it up your ass." - Josh Lyman, The West Wing 1.20. 2015-06-07 19:52.
  • "It may be the warriors who get the glory. But it's the engineers who build societies." - B'Elanna Torres, Voyager 7.10. 2015-06-02 18:30.
  • "Offspring can be disturbingly illogical, and yet profoundly fulfilling. You should anticipate paradox." - Tuvok, Voyager 7.12. 2015-06-01 17:20.
  • Rimmer: "Step up to red alert."
    Kryten: "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb."
    Rimmer: "There's always some excuse, isn't there?" Red Dwarf 6.2, Legion. 2015-05-31 21:23.
  • Cat: "Why don't we drop the defensive shields?"
    Kryten: "A superlative suggestion sir with just two minor flaws. One, we don't have any defensive shields. And two, we don't have any defensive shields. Now I realise that technically speaking that's only one flaw but I thought it's such a big one it was worth mentioning twice."
    Cat: "Good point. Well made." - Red Dwarf 5.1, Holoship. 2015-05-28 20:18.
  • Spike: "Oh. So that's all. You just come to pump me for information?"
    Buffy: "What else would I wanna pump you for? I really just said that, didn't I?" - Buffy 6.7, Once More with Feeling. 2015-05-26 20:51.
  • "Naomi Wildman, sub-unit of Ensign Samantha Wildman, state your intentions." - Seven of Nine. Voyager 5.7. 2015-05-23 18:54.
  • Neelix: "Coffee anyone? Captain?"
    Janeway: "No thanks, I've had enough. One more cup and *I'll* jump to Warp." - Voyager 5.5. 2015-05-23 17:44.
  • Hirogen: "I once tracked a silicon-based life-form through the neutronium mantle of a collapsed star."
    Tom Paris: "I once tracked a mouse through Jefferies tube 32." - Voyager 4.18, Prey. 2015-05-19 17:56.
  • "You should know, I'm a hologram, and can't be bent, spindled or mutilated, so don't bother trying." - The Doctor, Voyager 4.18, Prey. 2015-05-19 17:50.
  • "With all due respect unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo tubes I'm not turning around." - Janeway, Voyager 4.8. 2015-05-17 21:32.
  • "Who are you, and what the hell are you doing to my crew?" - Janeway, Star Trek Voyager 4.7 Scientific Method. 2015-05-17 21:11.
  • "Beauty and mystery - a tantalizing combination." - Captain Janeway, Star Trek Voyager 3.14. 2015-05-10 20:14.
  • "Mr Kim, we're Starfleet officers, weird is part of the job" - Captain Janeway, Star Trek Voyager 2.21. 2015-05-06 12:56.
  • "When a bomb starts talking about itself in the third person, I get worried." - Tom Paris, Star Trek Voyager 2.17. 2015-05-04 15:31.
  • "Why does everyone say 'relax' when they're about to do something terrible?" - Harry Kim, Star Trek Voyager 2.5. 2015-04-27 19:57.
  • "Get the cheese to sickbay. The Doctor should look at it as soon as possible." - B'Elanna Torres, Star Trek Voyager 1.15. 2015-04-27 16:15.
  • "You were working for her. Seska was working for them. Was anyone on that ship working for me?" - Chakotay, Star Trek Voyager 1.10. 2015-04-27 12:20.
  • "Must have donuts. Great, I ate Homer Simpson's brain." - Liv, iZombie 1.6. 2015-04-22 19:24.
  • "I'm just giving it to your wife, she's going to be sore tomorrow." - Duffman, Simpsons 19.9. 2015-04-13 19:39.
  • "My daughter asked me what it's like to have kids so I interrupted her every 11 seconds until she cried." - @Smug_Lemur. 2015-04-13 07:36.
  • "Is there a bathroom in here? I've been yoyo-ing a turd for the last 20 minutes." - Meg, Family Guy 11.19. 2015-04-12 20:04.
  • "Please, don't kill me, I'm not married, my life is awesome" - Briggs, Family Guy 11.5. ~2015-04-11
  • "I'd get up to hug you but sitting down is the only thing keeping the poop in". - Evil Monkey, Family Guy 8.5. 2015-04-05 12:01.
  • Peter Griffin: "Is this where I get the poop pass to use the Executive Bathroom?"
    HR Guy: "Sit down Mr. Griffin, we need to talk."
    Peter Griffin: "Well make it fast because I'm starting to crown." - Family Guy 7.6. 2015-04-03 18:22.
  • Steve Rogers: "Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?"
    Tony Stark: "Genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist." - The Avengers. 2015-03-14 14:02.
  • "The secret impresses no one. The trick you use it for is everything." - Alfred, The Prestige. 2015-03-01 14:06.
  • "Cheese is just milk’s attempt at being immortal." - notalwaysright.com. 2015-02-25 05:15.
  • "Peter, it's 7 o'clock and you've still got your pants on, what's the occasion?" - Brian, Family Guy 1.1. 2015-02-16 20:46.
  • "Here's a tip Paris [Hilton] if you're watching, have sex without a camera." - Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear 10.1. 2015-02-11 19:34.
  • "What good does it do to be afraid? It doesn’t help anything. You better try and figure out what’s happening and correct it." - Yeager, 2015-02-09 19:02
  • "... and how many bouncy castles can you jump in an ice-cream van?" - Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear 5.1. 2015-01-22 19:01.
  • "Rule number one: never carry a gun. If you carry a gun you may be tempted to use it. Rule number two: never trust a naked woman." - Mac, Entrapment. 2014-12-31 20:24.
  • "Can't remember if I took my malaria pill this morning. If I were a girl I'd be pregnant a lot." - Richard Hammond, Top Gear, Bolivia Special. 2014-12-26 19:28.
  • "There's a horror movie called 'Alien'? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you." - The Doctor, Last Christmas. 2014-12-26 11:10.
  • "There are three stages to a man's life – you believe in Santa Claus, you don't believe in Santa Claus and then you are Santa Claus." - Kathy Lette, 2014-12-21 15:42.
  • "Let's get retted and talk about girls eh?" - Blackadder, 2.1. 2014-11-30 13:21.
  • "Diane, I'm holding in my hands a small box of chocolate bunnies." - Dale Cooper speaking into tape recorder, Twin Peaks 1.1, 2014-11-22 20:48.
  • Jack: "Computers are your life, aren't they?" Angela: "Yes. The perfect hiding place." - The Net. 2014-11-22 14:43.
  • "Rule number one, don't use the husband's condoms, that's just rude." - Barney, HIMYM 6.11, 2014-11-15 21:19.
  • "Oh my God, you have a monocle! Is this real? Is this really happening? Good luck killing James Bond." - Ted Mosby, HIMYM 6.8. 2014-11-15 22:23.
  • "Well, pleased to meet you, Captain. I'm Galactic President Superstar MacAwesomeville." - Ted Mosby, HIMYM 6.8. 2014-11-15 22:20.
  • "Do you think that I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?" - The Doctor, Doctor Who 8.11, 2014-11-02 20:05.
  • "Ah, the pitter-patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots... SHUT UP!" - Mal, Firefly, War Stories, 2014-10-26 18:15
  • "You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at?" - Joey, Friends 9.23, 2014-10-24 16:14
  • "You're going to get pregnant" - Phoebe, Friends 8.4, 2014-10-22 12:30.
  • "You've accomplished so much more than most of us would bother to." - Turanga Leela, Futurama 7.25, 2014-09-22 20:44.
  • "God didn't get to be God by giving his money away." - Professor Farnsworth, Futurama 7.11, 2014-09-14 20:27.
  • "In recognition of your overwhelming victory let's call it a draw." - Zapp Brannigan, Futurama 7.8, 2014-09-09 20:47.
  • "You played 'Have You Met Ted' without me, in my bar, with my Ted?" - Barney, HIMYM 9.23, 2014-09-06 12:39
  • "If anyone doesn't like blue cheese I don't really know if I can be your friend." - Bec, Indi Video: Becmania - Healthy Living!, 2014-09-03 13:40.
  • "Let them bring it. We'll use our strengths against their weaknesses. That's a pretty good strategy for any kind of business you're in." - Major General Hank Landry, SG-1 9.3. 2014-08-31 12:01
  • "Besides what's the big deal? All I have to do is think of something that's going to change the balance of power in the galaxy by noon tomorrow." - Jay Felger, SG-1 7.9. 2014-08-28 18:08.
  • "There is really only one thing we can ever truly control... whether we are good or evil." - Oma Desala, Stargate 5.21, 2014-08-26 06:46.
  • "I'm Scottish, I can complain about things." - The Doctor, Doctor Who 8.1. 2014-08-24 04:12.
  • "Alright, uh, just to clarify, this Carter is from an *alternate* alternate reality?" - Jack O'Neill, SG-1 3.6, 2014-08-20 17:30
  • Apophis: "A single human life is worth so much you would risk a world?"
    Jack O'Neill: "That's right. That's why they call us the good guys." - SG-1 2.18, 2014-08-19 18:37.
  • "It took us fifteen years and three super-computers to MacGyver a system for the Gate on Earth." - Samantha Carter, SG-1 1.1, 2014-08-17 12:41.
  • "You've gone from crazy like a fox to crazy like Fox News" - Amy Wong, Futurama 6.21. 2014-08-13 19:50.
  • "A Zygon? Big red rubbery thing covered in suckers. Surprisingly good kisser." - Tenth Doctor, Doctor Who, 7.15. 2014-08-10 19:50
  • "They're just cod pieces for men who's sausages have started to wilt." - Jeremy Clarkson on 911s. 2014-08-04 08:06
  • "If you ever have daughters, Josh, don't let them run off and marry pin-heads." - POTUS, West Wing 6.11, 2014-08-04 21:46
  • "So, no one here is troubled the paper reduction act is 500 pages long?" - VP, West Wing 6.10, 2014-08-04 20:50
  • "There's nothing that says you have to be sworn in on a bible... you can be sworn in on the Sports Illustrated swim suit ediition." - Josh, West Wing 4.14. 2014-07-31 18:54.
  • "Is marriage really something that should be incentivised?" - POTUS, West Wing 3.21, 2014-07-29 19:08
  • "But one of those times she broke your heart. You know the way that women can do. They take your heart, they throw it on the floor, and they stomp on it with their big high heels." - Sam, West Wing 1.20. 2014-07-26 22:11.
  • "I don't mind you dating my only daughter, but you can't expect me not to have some fun along the way." Leo, to Sam, West Wing 1.18. 2014-07-26 20:35
  • "We have people on the payroll who are experts at obfuscating the Constitution." - Sam Seaborn, West Wing 1.18. 2014-07-26 20:30
  • "Are you telling me that not only did you invent a secret plan to fight inflation that you don't support it?" - POTUS to Josh, West Wing 1.15, 2014-07-26 18:41.
  • "I must warn you, if I have to get cute it's gonna get ugly." - Nibbler, Futurama 6.8. 2014-07-16 20:42.
  • "Tonight sucks. And look at me. Look at - look at stupid Buffy. Too dumb for college, and-and-and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And-and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end. And the only person that I can even stand to be around is a... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker." - Buffy. Buffy 6.5 Life Serial. 2014-07-15 17:17.
  • "Thank you guys so much. You're like my fairy godmother and Santa Claus and Q all wapped in one. Q from Bond not Star Trek." - Buffy. Buffy 5.4. 2014-07-12 15:14.
  • "And the thing is, I like my evil like I like my men - evil. You know, "straight up, black hat, tied to the train tracks, soon my electro-ray will destroy Metropolis," bad. Not all mixed up with guilt and the destruction of an indigenous culture." - Buffy. Buffy 4.8. 2014-07-06 16:16. (2004-12-11). Yes, confirming a 10 year loop.
  • [Stocking up at the university bookshop] "I can't wait till Mom gets the bill for these books. I hope it's a funny aneurysm." - Buffy, Buffy 4.1. 2014-07-06 10:22.
  • "And so I ask you this one question. Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?" - Bender, Futurama 5.15. 2014-07-03 21:13.
  • "Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot has Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available." - Professor Ogden Wernstrom, Futurama 5.14. 2014-07-03 20:49.
  • "Go big or go home. Because it's true. What do you have to lose?" - Eliza Dushku, IMDb. 2014-06-29 17:36.
  • "Cavalry's here. Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here." - Xander Harris, Buffy 2.22. 2014-06-29 14:23.
  • [on American football] "I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby." - Giles, Buffy 2.2. 2014-06-22 19:57.
  • "I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away." - Xander Harris, Buffy 1.3. 2014-06-21 17:09.
  • "I think I know more IP addresses than I know phone numbers." - Lee. 2014-05-27 10:26.
  • "It's not easy being drunk all the time. If it were easy, everyone would do it." - Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones 3.10. 2014-05-26 21:11.
  • "You're vegetarians, who cares what you do." - Leela, Futurama, 2.18 2014-05-25 20:44.
  • "Valentine Day's coming? Oh crap, I forgot to get a girlfriend again." - Fry, Futurama, 2.10. 2014-05-17 20:12
  • "Why don't you and I play a game of fuck off. You go first." - Mike Banning, Olympus Has Fallen. 2014-05-03 17:28
  • "If you love someone and you're lucky enough to be able to tell them, you tell them. You tell them ten thousand times." - Mansfield. Ground Floor 1.10. 2014-04-28 19:30.
  • "It’s a wilderness of mirrors" - John Pike, GlobalSecurity.org on X-37B, news.com.au. 2014-04-28 17:24
  • "This dream brought to you by Lightspeed briefs" - Futurama 1.6. 2014-04-21 20:46.
  • "It takes years to create a good reputation but only seconds to destroy it". - Will to Quinn, Glee 1.17. 2014-04-21 14:00
  • "You know I could have been in the NSA, but they found out my parents were married." - Martin Bishop, Sneakers (1992). 2014-04-19 16:00
  • "ahhh, explains it. Google apparently hasn't indexed your dreams... yet." - David, after being unable to locate a quote from my dream. 2014-04-19 14:23 [a dream I had about a demo in which that was the first opening line to a customer was "within 2 minutes you'll be begging us to sell this to you"]
  • "You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread." - Captain Zapp Brannigan, Futurama 1.4. 2014-04-16 20:29
  • "The only winning move is not to play" - Joshua, 'War Games', 2014-03-21 23:25
  • "Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it? You lose your keys, it's aliens. A picture falls off the wall, it's aliens. That time we used up a whole bog roll in a day, you thought that was aliens as well." Lister, Red Dwarf 2.1. 2014-03-09 08:35
  • "Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking." - Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons. 2014-03-09 08:11
  • "You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at." - Tina Fey. 2014-03-01 08:21
  • "IT workers have the smartest kids" - news.com.au. I knew it! Oh well. 2014-02-19 20:12
  • "Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas. Whatever!" - Ace Rimmer. Red Dwarf 7.2. 2014-02-15 20:52
  • "Look at you, stuck between a girl and a box. Story of your life, hey Doctor?" - Interface to The Moment (Rose Tyler), Doctor Who, The Day of the Doctor. 2014-02-15 19:41
  • "Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do." - Chris Rock. 2014-02-15 07:45
  • "Never give up. Never surrender." - Jason Nesmith, Galaxy Quest. 2014-02-xx.
  • "Rule #11: when the job is done, walk away". Gibbs, NCIS 11.14. 2014-02-05 15:39
  • "We were so brave in the 80s. We were brave and we were strong because we had no power steering. We didn't go to a gym we'd just go for a drive, that would build up a sweat." - Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear 21.1. 2014-02-03 18:02.
  • "You don't butt in line! You don't sell drugs! You don't molest little children! You don't profit off the misery of others! The rules were set a long time ago! They don't change!" - Frank D'Arbo, Super (2010). 2014-02-02 13:25
  • "He wasn't your best friend, he was your oldest friend. There's a difference." - Kristin, Best Man Down. 2014-01-27 09:57
  • Finn to Miss Pillsbury on Rachel: "she changed her Facebook status to 'shacked up'." Glee 4.13. 2014-01-25 20:07
  • "Past, present and future - they exist as one, they breathe together." - Annorax, Star Trek Voyager 4.9. 2014-01-24 09:20
  • Commenting on an Alfa 147GTA: "I know it handles like a stallion with half a hundred weight of wasabi up its backside..." Jeremy Clarkson. 2014-01-20 10:26
  • "Puritans are the least buttoned-up people in the world. They can't wait to pin a scarlet A for adultery on someone's clothing, or hold a public humiliation ritual." - A Point of View: Sex and the French 2014-01-19 18:14
  • "In the movies the good guy gets the girl. In real life it's usually the prick." - Nick Twisp. Youth in Revolt 2014-01-17 19:09
  • Trey: "So what's your favorite programming language?" Divya: "C++. Insert boob joke here." Betas 1.3 2014-01-17 16:58
  • G: "You have an app for an ancient money transfer system?" A: "There's an app for everything." - NCISLA 5.13 2014-01-15 17:18
  • "Programs, get your programs. It's the only way to know how much more you have to sit through." - Frank, Raising Hope 3.14.
  • "Oh my god, we're too stupid to even think of a question." - Virginia Chance. Raising Hope 2.11
  • "I am so great, I am so great, everybody loves me, I am so great." - Bart Simpsons. 2014-01-09 10:42
  • "New topic: Women. Delightfully mysterious, or bat-crap crazy?" - Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory 5.8. 2014-01-08 17:09
  • "Lesson Number One: All the time traveling in the world can't make someone love you." - Tim, About Time (2013). 2014-01-03 12:56
  • "There's a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?" - Bo, Signs (2002). 2013-12-27 14:25
  • "I do not want money. I do not want wealth. All I ask is that people humbly and honestly sink to their knees and worship me." - Tim, The Goodies. 2013-12-22 18:06
  • "Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again." - Og Mandino. 2013-12-15 19:48.
  • "Be excellent to each other." - Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989). 2013-12-06 08:49
  • "Look, I know you think she was the one, but I don't. Now, I think you're just remembering the good stuff. Next time you look back, I, uh, I really think you should look again." - Rachel Hansen, (500) Days of Summer (2009). 2013-12-01 17:26.
  • "See, that's what happens when you keep people from doing what they do best: It makes them insane." - Detective Robert Goren, Law & Order: Criminal Intent 4.11 Gone [last lines of the ep]. 2013-11-24 13:13
  • "One day someone is going to hug you so tight, that all of your broken pieces will stick back together" - unknown. 2013-11-23 13:44
  • "The mind replays what the heart can't delete." - unknown. 2013-11-16 13:25
  • "Zombies Don't Kill People, Being Stupid Does." - Wired on 'The Walking Dead', 2013-11-12 07:24
  • "I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living." - Dr. Seuss, 2013-10-26 14:57
  • "How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven." - Robert A. Heinlein. 2013-10-12 20:24
  • "Oh, well, I don't think anybody really matures. Adults are just children who owe money." - Andrew, Peter's Friends. 2013-10-06 17:28
  • "What's a more romantic word for 'knockers'?" - The IT Crowd, The Last Byte, 2013-09-28 21:06
  • "The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated." - Eliza Doolittle, My Fair Lady. 2013-09-25 21:52
  • "If you find someone who makes you smile, who checks up on you often to see if you're okay, who watches out for you and wants the very best for you, don't let them go. Keep them close and don't take for granted. People like that are hard to find." - Unknown, Quotes & Thoughts. 2013-08-26 13:35
  • David's mowing instructions to J-P: "Right, you make the noise and I'll walk behind with the secateurs." 2013-08-03
  • "The project title is 'Global Clarity' and it intercepts 1.7 billion phone calls, emails and texts every day.", NSA informant, The Newsroom 1.8, 12 Aug 2012. [Same numbers given by Snowden in 2013] 2013-07-14 20:31
  • "When a woman starts shooting at you that's a clear sign to back the fuck off!" Fast & Furious 6. 2013-07-06 15:18
  • "You can't make sense out of a woman they're like beautiful puzzles with missing pieces or a great book with no ending or like my old man used to say they're all frickin' nuts". Tom. TAAHM S07E17. 2013-07-05 20:26
  • "So it's agreed, all ATM fees are now called 'Freedom Charges'. Barney. HIMYM 4.8. 2013-06-30 17:45
  • "Look around Ted, you’re all alone" Barney, HIMYM 8.20 - The Time Travelers 2013-06-12 05:49
  • Ted: "You're saying it's doomed completely one of us is just guaranteed to get sick of the other and call it quits?"
    Coat check girl: "you’ve been dating for a long time Ted has it ever gone any other way?" HIMYM 8.20 - The Time Travelers 2013-06-12 05:48
  • "People change when you're not looking." Beckett, Castle 4.20. 2013-06-11 18:38
  • Icelan: "He checks his sanity with his wristwatch!", Braddock: "What do you check yours with, a dipstick?" - Blue Thunder. 2013-06-11 18:11
  • "Your bullets cannot harm me, my wings are like a shield of steel." - Batfink. 2013-06-11 18:04
  • "Would you believe a boy scout with rabies?" - Get Smart. 2013-06-11 18:03
  • Castle: "How did you know to come?" Beckett: "Your mum said you told her you loved her and I knew something must be terribly wrong." - Castle 3.6 2013-06-07 21:20
  • "Our Germans are better than their Germans" - Grand Designer, The Right Stuff. 2013-06-01 15:39
  • "But Dad, you love New York now that your two least favorite buildings have been obliterated... ... Old Penn Station and Shea Stadium." - Bart, The Simpsons S24E01. 2013-05-31 17:34
  • "When I want your opinion I'll buy you a brain" - bad guy to Jason Momoa, Bullet to the Head 2013-05-25 18:58
  • "You had me at 'Fuck you''" - Stallone, Bullet to the Head. 2013-05-25 18:29
  • "Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?" - Tallahassee [Searching for Twinkies], Zombieland. 2013-05-25 17:24
  • "Broadcasting beautiful views 24 hours a day: you're tuned to the Scenery Channel." - BTTF 2
  • "This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays." - Arthur Dent, Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. 2013-05-16 09:08
  • "Do You Have a Poor Sense of Smell? Congrats, You Are a Psychopath." - gawker - 2013-05-09
  • "Lets hope 3D faxes don't catch on – imagine the sort of spam you would get!" - Paulwaldon, Whirlpool. 2013-05-08 16:55
  • "Life can only be understood backwards, yet must be lived forwards" - Soren Kierkegaard Danish philosopher (1813 - 1855) 2013-05-05 17:41
  • "What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?" - Calvin and Hobbes. 2013-05-05
  • "Kids are like pancakes: the first one is always a throwaway." - TBBT. 2013-04-02 11:11.
  • "Don't die a virgin. Terrorists are up there waiting for you." - Sign, unknown. 2013-04-18 16:33
  • Dating headline: "Looking for a guy who will not try to hi-five me after sex" 2013-04-07 15:28
  • "I was in a café recently where there had a sign saying 'Unattended children will be given an expresso and a free kitten.'" - ClientsFromHell.Net. 2013-04-06 15:04
  • "... to be a wine 'expert' I'm convinced that all you need is a thesaurus and an offensivey pretentious disposition" - PipsAhoy WAtoday 2013-04-03
  • "It's just so stupid isn't it beating your wife? I mean, it's *your* wife. It's like keying your own car." - Jimmy Carr, QI. 5.8. 2013-02-25 18:02
  • "My opinion is that anybody offended by breastfeeding is staring too hard" - Dave Allen. 2013-01-21 08:01
  • re being a necrophile: "What, you think I'm the only guy in town that likes to crack open a cold one?" Criminal Minds 4.14. 2013-01-04 12:40. Ewww... I'll never open a beer the same way again."
  • "When a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn't want him to fix her, she wants him to shut up and listen." Prentice, Criminal Minds 3.8 2013-01-02 13:58
  • "Why do people say grow some balls? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding." - Betty White 2012-12-29 12:01
  • "Twilight [is] a beautiful love story telling of a young girls choice between necrophilia and beastiality." - David 2012-12-15 10:44
  • "Buses so lame and stupid like jackass moving trucks" - David 2012-12-05 08:39
  • "Don't let a relationship split up change you... us girls are not worth it honest!" LM, Police Officer 2012-11-25 21:10
  • "Work hard, be kind and amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien 2012-11-21
  • "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx. 2012-11-20
  • "There is a time when you just have to move on :(" - RH - 2012-10-15
  • "Never regret anything that once made you smile." - Unknown 2012-10-06
  • "How will I explain to Ralphy? That kid doesn't understand where the world goes when I close the drapes." - Chief Wiggum. 2012-09-29 11:58
  • "You know, I told you people something a long time ago, and it's just as pertinent today as it was then. Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice." - Dr. Sidney Freedman. M*A*S*H Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen (1983). 2012-09-23
  • "8 rules for scruffing my teenage Penny" - David 2012-06-28
  • "So SG-1 S10E04 the US military manage to scramble 2 jets and intercept a G'ould ship and hit it with a missile... and they can't find a plane on 9/11" - David 2012-06-28
  • "Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching." - Unknown. 2012-06-05
  • "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - William Gibson. 2012-05-31
  • "Bullets sometimes take a long and winding road before they reach their ultimate destination. Some people too." CSI 9.15 2012-05-19
  • "So she was a prostitute posing as an FBI agent posing as a prostitute?" - CSI 9.12 2012-05-19
  • "Scaring people into participating isn't success, it's Scientology" - 2 Broke Girls 1.22 2012-05-01 14:40
  • One for the nerds: How many SEO experts do you need to change a lightbulb lightbulbs buy light bulbs neon lights sex porn - Katherine Felix Nash. 2012-01-16
  • She fakes like a woman, She makes love like a woman, She aches just like a woman, She breaks like a little girl. - Bob Dylan 2011-11-18 10:11
  • "It's a coincidence... it's what the universe does for fun." The Doctor - 2011-09-25 14:10
  • Jackson on politicians (2012) "when they tell you not to panic that's when you run" - 2011-09-10 16:38
  • "Bobby Cobb's number one rule of parenting - don't get involved" - Bobby Cobb, Cougar Town 2.15 2011-04-19 16:32
  • "Everybody's job makes them miserable, that's why they got to pay you to do it" - Jeff, Rules of Engagement 5.5 2011-02-22 20:27
  • "I will meow at a cat, possibly bark at a dog and certainly moo to a cow – not that I've ever seen one in the office. It's like when you visit France and try to speak French. You may not be very good at their language, but they appreciate the fact that you make the effort." - Whirlpool 2011-11-23 12:57
  • "Challenge your preconceptions or they will challenge you." - Star Trek Enterprise 1.4 2010-06-20 11:03
  • "It's better to want something you don't have than to have something you don't want." - Denny Crane 2010-01-01 15:40
  • "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. ." - Mark Twain 2009-10-01 17:29
  • "Marriage means having someone who'll slap your enemies and toss their dead bodies out of aeroplanes." - Bones 2009-08-14 15:02
  • "Sometimes I like to crumble up the Weatbix in the blood - gives it more texture." - Spike, Buffy, Hush 2008-04-21 19:54
  • "A man and a women can not connect intellectually without eventually connecting with... their connectors." - Mary. Third Rock from the Sun. 2008-04-14 19:12
  • "Having sex with your pregnant wife is like putting gas in the tank of a car you've already wrecked." - Jefferson. Married with Children. 2008-03-13 20:23
  • "Aren’t you a little fat for a stormtrooper?" "Well stay here and rot, you stuck-up bitch." - Family Guy 2008-02-15 15:00
  • "The one. I love the idea of the one but I actually believe that there isn't a Miss Right. There are 12,000 Miss Rights out there and it's all timing." - Matthew Perry. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/matthew_perry.html 2008-01-13
  • "There are only two rules in television; don't swear and don't whip it out." - Krusty. Simpsons 18.22. 2007-08-07 19:52.
  • "Touch a ladies mind & you have her interest, touch her heart & you have her love, but touch her soul and you have intimacy beyond your wildest dreams." - Anonymous 2007-06-24 17:34
  • Brian on 'Sex and the City': "So it's a show about three hookers and their mum?" - Brian family Guy 2007-06-17 19:58
  • "You can't put a square root in a round hole." - RH 2007-05-27 18:19
  • "Revenge doesn't solve anything. Then what's America doing in Iraq?" - Marge/Homer, The Simpsons 18.11. 2007-05-15 19:35.
  • "If a man says something in the forest and there is no women there to hear him is he still wrong?" - Ken Layton. The Man Show. Comedy Channel. 2007-05-12 21:26
  • "Why are the pretty ones always insane?" - Chief Wiggum. The Simpsons. Screaming Yellow Honkers 2007-05-08 06:54 Simpsons
  • "Fry, please try to understand: you're a man I'm women we're just too different." - Fututama 2007-04-01 20:18
  • Hermes on top of building: "I'm going to jump". Bender: "Do a flip!" - Futurama 2007-03-29 18:38
  • "You're more than popular; you're pure lowest common denominator." - Futurama 2007-03-27 05:02
  • "Do you have anything on that remote lower than mute?" - Brian. Family Guy. The son also draws 2007-02-26 07:05
  • Warne responded to a series of Collingwood chirps by replying: "Mate you got an MBE for scoring seven runs. How embarrassing is that." - Warne 2007-01-05
  • "We sell stuff over the internet. I thought they proved that didn't exist. Yes they did, we do it anyway." - Drew Carey Show. 2006-12-15 19:47.
  • "Funny how a snot-nosed kid with a moth-eaten teddy bear can make you pay attention." - Nick Stone. Aggessor. P291. 2006-07-01 18:56
  • "If wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak." - Firefly. Jayne. Objects in space. 2006-06-07 19:53
  • "Psychic? That sounds like something out of science fiction"... "We live in a spaceship dear." Firefly. Objects in space. 2006-06-07 19:51.
  • "Do anything funny I've got your parents on speed dial." - Danny. Las Vegas 2006-05-19 19:33
  • "Being alone sucks." - Rachel, Friends 4.10. 2006-03-25 21:00.
  • Marge to Homer: "You think brushing your teeth is foreplay." - Doh 2006-03-07 16:45
  • "In my opinion, the night before Dipesto was born god went to a great party." - David Addison. Moonlighting 2006-02-15 19:06
  • "They're small, noisy, smelly, devil brats." - Noel Gallagher. The West Magazine. 2006-02-04 2006-02-04 13:05
  • "This is the final episode of last season's series, which Nine declined to show because they hate you." - Australian 2006-02-04
  • "There is no such thing as minor groin surgery." - Dennis Miller. The West. 2006-01-10 p55 2006-01-10 19:10
  • "Ahhh the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots." - Malcolm Reynolds. War Stories. Firefly. 2005-12-17 14:35
  • "You're telling me Vulcans stole your homework?" - The Nagus 2005-11-20 15:35
  • "Marge I'm pulling an all nighter. Put on a pot of coffee drink it and start making burgers." - Simpsons 2005-11-13 19:59
  • French WWII The last time they (the French) owned up to a mistake, Roosevelt and Churchill had to spend the second half of World War II listening to De Gaulle ranting about a big baguette he was while the Vichy government was pole dancing for the Nazis. From the Financial Review p72. 2005-11-08
  • "What the hell in wrong with those kids? They're always sticky." - Frank Barone. Everybody Loves Raymond 2005-11-01
  • "I've done stuff I'm not proud of and the stuff I am proud of is disgusting." - Moe. The Simpsons. 2005-09-13 19:47 Simpsons
  • "It's better to regret something you did, than to regret something you didn't do!" - 2005-08-21 16:03
  • "But he didn't know what to do about it. At thirty-three, with eight years of university education behind him, he had spent far too many hours in academic pursuits and too few learning the rituals of courtship." - Icebound. Dean Koontz p99 2005-08-16 15:56
  • "Geman always sounds so mean. A naked woman can be whispering sweet nothings in your ear in bed, and if she's talking in German it sounds like she wants to rip your heart out with a fork." - Tin man, Dale Brown. P353 2005-08-16 13:29
  • "The worst defeat is never having tried to win." - Tin Man, Dale Brown. p153. 2005-08-15 18:40
  • "Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood." - Oscar Wilde 1854 - 1900. The cat who walks through walls. p206 2005-08-07 10:57
  • "There are no perfect men in this world only perfect intentions." - Azeem. Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. 2005-08-05 22:18.
  • "You, my room, 1030 tonight. You, 1045... bring a friend." - The Sherrif, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. 2005-08-05 21:27.
  • "Loxley, I'm gong to cut your heart out with a spoon... Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe? Because it's dull you twit, it'll hurt more." - Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. 2005-08-05 21:16.
  • "A wolf remains a wolf even if it has not eaten your sheep." - V.I.N.C.E.N.T. Black Hole. Disney. 2005-07-31 16:41
  • "Aren't you one of those guys? Guys? They send you out into the wilderness with a pocketknife and a cue tip and they build you a shoppping mall." - 6d7n 2005-07-30 20:57
  • "Sturgeon's first law Ninety percent of anything is crap." - David Brin. Earth. P310 2005-07-30 00:52
  • "A bachelor is a man who hasn't made the same mistake once." - sunrise 2005-07-29 06:53
  • "All's fair in love and bouncy bouncy." - Harvey Birdman. 2005-07-28 22:16
  • "Failure is never quiet so frightening as regret." - The Dish. Cliff's wife. 2005-07-22 18:35
  • "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin 2005-07-22 06:00
  • "Beer is the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson 2005-07-22 05:58
  • "The internet is just another way of being rejected by women." - George, You've Got Mail. 2005-07-15 20:59
  • "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." - Seven Sunrise 2005-07-15 05:52
  • "Terrorists don't wear uniforms and they play by inscrutable rules... the rule of World War III, which has already begun." - Hunter S. Thompson, Sept. 18 2001. 2005-07-08 17:13
  • "Tom should stick to saving the world from aliens and let women decide what treatment is best for them." - An antidepreeant-touting Brooke Shields offers some advise to Tom Cruise. The West Australian Today. 2005-06-30. 2005-06-30 16:25
  • "The astronomer's rule of thumb: if you don't write it down, it didn't happen." - The Cuckoo's Egg. Cliff Stoll. p28. 1989. 2005-06-28 19:43
  • "Do you have another word for thesaurus?" - David 2005-06-16 18:17
  • "It's when people stop the nagging and start being nice to each other you have to worry." - Bravo two zero p51 2005-06-09 23:30
  • "How bad does porn have to get before they put it in the horror section?" - Katherine Felix Nash 2005-05-25 21.59
  • "Go get yourself a bikini wax - I like a clean workspace" - Young lawyer to Karen. Will & Grace? 2005-05-22 10.53
  • "What's wrong with him? He gave his all. Some people get to all faster than others." - Potter/Hawkeye/Mash Mash 2005-05-12
  • "So, what planet are your parents from? Oh, somewhere at the back. rh/bc/2005-05-12
  • "First Corollary of Taber's Second Law: Machines that piss people off get murdered." - Pat Taber 2005-02-12
  • "Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - they are just like panda bears, everyone's watching them, waiting to see if they'll survive." - Claire Danes 2005-01-31 20:33
  • "I'll just throw back my legs and polute my pants with delight." - Mr. Burns. C.E.D'oh. The Simpsons 2005-01-31 Simpsons
  • "All girls are nice girls, as long as they're under 50, still warm and come across." - Bodie, The Professionals, Old Dog with New Tricks. 2005-01-21
  • "The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do." - McCloctnik the Lucid 2005-01-12 16:51
  • "Be braver -- you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." - 2005-01-08
  • The best way to predict the future is to create it." - Peter F. Drucker 2005-01-08
  • "Whistler: I want peace on earth and goodwill toward men. Bernard Abbott: We're the United States Government! We don't deal with that sort of thing." - Sneakers 2005-01-01
  • "I understand assembly, women, 2+3=chair!?" - credit to comedy central of course! 2004-12-31
  • "Logic has never explained what dead means." - Blake, Blake's 7, Duel 2004-12-22
  • "A cynic is what an idealist calls a realist Humphrey." - Yes Minister, The Moral Dimension 2004-12-01
  • "If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car." - The Duke of Edinburgh. The West Magazine. 2004-10-30 p54. 2004-10-30 21:33
  • "There really are no Good Guys and Bad Guys. Just a lot of people falling over each other trying to do what they think is right." - Kirk. Strangers from the Sky. margaret wander bonanno. p24. 2004-10-26 21:58
  • "In business news 3M and M&M have combined to form... get this... UltraDyne Systems." - I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can. Kent Brockman 2004-10-17 08:32 Simpsons
  • "The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money is usually cheaper." - Brendan Francis, Author. The Aus. Magazine August 14-15 2004. p8 2004-08-14 16:18
  • "I dont want to just rain on your parade. I want to blow up all the floats." - Munch. Law And Order 2004-07-03 20:33
  • "Chin up, Paris, I know how these sex tape scandals can be. I thought yours was cute though. But you should have kept your heels on!" - Pamela Anderson in a phone message to Paris Hilton. West Aust. 2004-02-26. 2004-02-26 18:38
  • "Desire is irrelevant. I am a machine." - Arnold Schwarzenegger, T3. The Aust. p21 2003-07-06 16:56
  • "Show business is a hideous bitch goddess." - Simpsons. fall-out boy 2003-07-01 18:11 Simpsons
  • "I'm not a pyscho, I'm just... off." - Milo, The Oblongs. 2003-06-18 19:06
  • "My French is so much better when I've had a couple of glases of wine." - Kylie Minogue during the Cannes Film Festival. Weekend Australian 2003-06-07 17:09
  • "Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat." - Expanded Universe, Robert A. Heinlein. L. Long. p28 2003-05-26 22:36 Cats
  • "At the end of the night the beautiful people go to bed with the beautiful people, the rest of us have a kebab." - world comedy tour: show us your roots 2003-05-18 18:27
  • "Alright kids, who wants to buy an Asprin?" - Planet of the Apes 2003-05-01
  • "We all have our time machines don't we? Those that take us back in our memomies, and those that carry us forward in our deams." - The Time Machine 2003-04-16 22:35
  • "Bad guys do what good guys dream." - Law & Order CI 2003-04-15 22:01
  • "We spent the weekend looking for fun in Belgium, which is an isometric exercise. That is, it's a strain but you get nowhere." - P. J. O'Rourke. Weekend Australian 2003-03-08 23:10
  • "It's only brave when you're scared." - Billy Connolly 2002-08-01 20:57
  • "No! I'm not going out with women anymore. They're too dangerous." - Men Behaving Badly. Tony. 2002-07-28 22:02
  • "Take Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger - any of those tough guys - put them in a room with spiders and one of them will jump on the table." - Tobey Maguire aka Spider-Man. The West. Today p3. 2002-05-15
  • "Catholic girls are scarey." - Hudson Hawk 2002-03-09 22:39
  • "Tell me Worf, do they still sing songs about the great Tribble hunt?" - Odo. The Trouble with Tribbles 2002-03-02 21:52
  • "What is the point of being in business if you can't corner the market?" - Quark. The Dogs of War. Star Trek 2002-03-02 20:45
  • "What have we come to if you can't demand sexual favors from your employees?" - Quark. The Dogs of War. Star Trek 2002-03-02 20:45
  • "Tell me Damar, when you're alone do you even bother with the glass?" - Weyoun DS9. Star Trek 2002-03-02 20:35
  • "It's easy to get a little jumpy when you're travelling at 30M km/s." - Archer Broken Bow. Star Trek 2002-02-27 21:22
  • "Trust is earned not given away Worf." - The Wounded. Star Trek 2002-01-28 15:38
  • "If winning isn't important, Commander, then why keep score?" - Worf 11001001. Star Trek 2002-01-20 20:48
  • "Never interrupt me when I'm talking to myself." - McComb. Timecop. 2001-12-30 12:55
  • "Scientists are men who dream about doing things. If you want to be an engineer but you find you have ten thumbs, become a scientist." - James Michener. 1907-1997 IEEE Spectrum. Dec. 2001. p96. 2001-12-24 16:24
  • "You can't rule the world in hiding. You've got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle." - The Doctor. Doctor Who. 1963. 2001-11-25 10:24
  • "It is better to debate an importart matter without settling it than to settle it without debating it." - Anonymous. West. p94 2001-11-24 09:22
  • "Ambition is just an excuse for not having the guts to be lazy." - Wogboy 2001-11-17 14:06
  • "Enjoying life is not an exclusive preserve of young people. It is far better to be out with beautiful girls than be an old fart in the pub talking abuut what you were like in the 60s." - Mick Jagger. West Australian. 2001-11-16. Today. p3. 2001-11-16 12:19
  • "The ABC's a bit like an Arrowroot biscuit, an old favorite, but they taste like shit." - Cam Haag. Voter in Dickson. The Australian, 2001-10-31, p10. 2001-10-31 12:28
  • "It is a bad sign when the people of a country stop identifying themselves with the country and start identifying with a group. A racial group. Or a religion. Or a language. Anything, as long as it isn't the country." - Friday, p291, Robert A. Heinlein, 2001-10-03 00:41
  • "A friendly computer with a Strine accent is better company than most people, human or my sort." - Friday. p246 2001-10-03 00:37
  • "I don't understand women. Nor do I, but they understand us." - A Knight's Tale 2001-10-01 14:31
  • "The French don't care what they do actually as long as they pronounce it properly." - Henry Higgins. My Fair Lady. 1963. 2001-09-29 10:17
  • "Doesn't know, doesn't care. Lucky bastard." - John Mellion, Crocodile Dundee 2001-09-28 19:39
  • "Painfull to live in fear ain't it?" - Leon, Blade Runner 2001-09-15 17:48
  • "Part of being a captain is knowing when to smile. Make the troops happy, even when it's the last thing in the world you want to do. Because they're your troops and you have to take care of them." - ST:DS9 4.9 Sisko. Rules of Engagement. Star Trek 2001-09-10 17:32
  • "There is a rather short list of ways whereby this condition can arise." - NASA on the possibility that astronauts on the International Space Station might get pregnant. The Times Weekend 2001-09-08 p20 2001-09-09 09:47
  • "Life passes most people by while they're making grand plans for it." - George Yung (Johnny Depp) Blow 2001-09-08 17:55
  • "I'd be happy to find a women that'd talk dirty to me." - Goose. Top Gun. 2001-09-01 19:35
  • "If it is just us it's an awful waste of space." - Contact. Ellie's dad 2001-09-01 17:01
  • "Killing your own clone is still murder." - Odo, DS9 1.3. 2001-09-01 11:03.
  • "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases.' Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and Quality Assurance people in its wake." - Klingon Programmer" FDU 2001-08-31 12:45
  • "You know how a woman gets a guy excited? How? She shows up. Thats it. We're guys. We're easy." - Harrison Ford, Six Days Seven Nights. 2001-08-26 15:23
  • "Funny how they always want to be friends after they rip your guts out." - Starship Troopers 2001-08-19 14:18
  • "The bedrock principle of marketing: People are stupid." - Dave Barry, IHT p18 2001-08-11
  • "How do you make 3lb of fat look attractive? Wack a nipple on it." - David 2001-07-23 21:06
  • "Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age." - Jeanne Moreau 2001-06-23 06:06
  • "Things don't happen for a reason. They just... happen." - Meg Ryan. Proof of Life 2001-06-16 17:21
  • "But still, he knew that one of the secrets of getting along with others was to take an interest in their interests." - Kirk. Prime Directive. p86 2001-05-24 17:01
  • "It's really debilitating being nuts about someone, you lose 20 IQ points every time you speak to them." - Lister. RD VIII 2. 2001-04-06 12:17 Red Dwarf
  • "MIRAGEcrm is too close to in terms of design to Outlook." - BSI/VEG 2001-03-05
  • "I hate alone. Alone sucks." - Entrapment 2001-03-03 14:41
  • "The best way to predict the future is to invent it." - Alan Kay 2001-02-25 07:16
  • "Sooner or later a man has to face his demons." - Mulder. X-Files. Fire. 2001-01-30 07:52
  • "If this is all a dream, why can't there be more girls?" - Major West. Lost in Space. 2001-01-28 17:31
  • "I guess sometimes friendship means listening to your heart not your head." - Wil Robinson. Lost in Space. 2001-01-28
  • "How depressing is it - that moment when you give up?" - Mumford. 2000-11-25.
  • "Stop watching, start doing." - CBA ad 2000-10-22 14:11 2000-10-22 14:11
  • "Most Internet enterpreneurs treat the users' attention as a Third World country to be strip-mined." - Jakob Nielsen (Silicon Valley specialist on software usability) IHT 2000-07-18 p1
  • "Women, you know the difference between a 10 year old boy and a 40 year old man? The 40 year old shaves." - The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. 2000-07-15
  • "The only thing you know is it smells like moisterizer over there." - Ray Romano on king sized beds. Late Night With Conan O'Brien. 1998-10-30
  • "This is exactly why I hated gym class. I was afraid that Gator would decide to snap me with a towel, and I would never walk again." - Killer Ducks! Beware! Dave Barry. IHT April 4-5 1998. p20 1998-04-05
  • "God gave us a penis and a brain and only enough blood to run one at a time." - Robin Williams. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. 1995-11-13
  • "The older I get, the better I was." - t-shirt, Pub in the Grund, Luxembourg. 1995-07-05.
  • "There's no points expiry if you earn or redeem points within any three-year period - so you won't have to take a holiday in Dubbo if you really wanted to fly to Vanuatu the ad said. Virgin ad.
  • "I've been shot at chased married. And when the guy found out I was a dude it wasn't a deal breaker" Resse. Malcolm in the Middle
  • "When I saw you stop the world from you know ending I just assumed that was just a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse." - Riley, Buffy 4.12.
  • "Software Engineering is a race between the programmers trying to make bigger and better fool-proof software and the universe trying to make bigger fools. So far the Universe in winning."
  • "It is amazing what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit." - Harry S Truman
  • "You can't judge people by what they think, or say, only by what they do." - Major Kira. ST:DS9. By Inferno's Light. Star Trek. Paramount. 1997
  • "You can't let the little pricks generation gap you." - Molly. Neuromancer. William Gibson. Grafton Books. p76
  • "Even his experiments in alcohol had been successful, although he hadn't been able to walk properly for two days" - Interesting times. Terry Pratchet. Corgi Books 1994. p29
  • "Sometimes if you hold out for everything you end up with nothing" - Ally McBeal
  • "The world is no longer a romantic place. some of the people are. Therein lives the promise." - Ally McBeal
  • "Commander I don't think you can analyse love. It's the greatest mystery of all. No one knows why it happens or doesn't... if we could define love, predict it, it would probably lose its power." - Neelix. Star Trek
  • "Anyone who awoke from a sound sleep in a cheerful mood and instantly made bad jokes must have come from a broken branch of evolution" - Treasure. Clive Cussler. Harper Collins. 1988. p372
  • "Nerds tend to have cats, not dogs. Low maintenance." - Microserfs. Douglas Coupland. p97 Cats
  • "... seven long years of give a little, take a little. Stack a little money away" - Goodbye (Astrid Goodbye). Cold Chisel
  • "Simplicity, consistency, brevity are key to correctness, reliability, maintainability" - Some Proposals for Database Design, Uriel Wittenberg, UrielW@compuserve.com
  • "This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel" - Horace Walpole 1717-1797
  • "How did you like command? Comfortable chair" - Riker/Worf. The Emissary.
  • "Good computer games need the illusion of winnability." - Chris Crawford. Chaos Manor. Byte December 1996. p154
  • "DOS, C:\DOS>, C:\DOS\RUN>, RUN\DOS\RUN" - Simpsons 10.22.
  • "DOS n. A series of fatal PC virus distributed by Microsoft." - Computer Contradictory, Second Edition. MIT Press, Cambridge, Mass., 1995.
  • "The only problem with safe sex in [redacted] is the town Councillors' parents didn't practice it." - David. [redacted] local newspaper 1995
  • "It's a lot easier to be famous than to be a decent person." - Liza Tarbuck.
  • "Is it not so strange that desire should outlive performance" - William Shakespeare 1564-1616
  • "If you don't write it down, then it never happened." - Dr Carolyn Ryan. Debt of Honor. Tom Clancy. p530.
  • "They're stronger, they're smarter and they don't fight fair" - Don Cherry. Disclosure. 1995
  • "Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; when it is bad, it is better than nothing." - Dick Brandon
  • "... the future, the past. Old friends long gone" - Yoda. The Empire Strikes Back. Twentieth Century Fox. 1980
  • "Fate, it protects fools, small children and ships called Enterprise" - Commander Riker. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Contagion. Stardate 42609.1.
  • "May I suggest, that maybe it's yourself you don't trust. Your feelings that you're afraid of" - Neelix. ST:V. Unforgettable
  • "If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live" - Martin Luther King 1929-1968
  • "The follies which a man regrets most of his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity" - Helen Rowlan 1875 - 1950
  • "A knowledgeable fool is a greater fool than an ignorant fool" - Moliere
  • "Fool-proof implies a finite number of fools." - Anonymous
  • "99% of the people in this world are fools and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion." - Sherrif Daniels. Miracle Man. X-Files. X-Files
  • "It takes a minute to have a crush on someone. An hour to like someone. A day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone."
  • "Just in time for Christmas scientists have taken a gene from a fruitcake, and a gene from a Mexican jumping bean to create a fruitcake that will throw itself into the garbage for you." - Jay Leno. The Tonight Show
  • "Genius does what it must, and Talent does what it can" - Owen Meredith
  • "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." - Hamlet
  • "That's the metaphorical equivalent of flopping your wedding tackle into a lion's mouth and flicking his love spuds with a wet towel - total insanity" - Rimmer. Rimmerworld. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enter Red Dwarf
  • "For designing games, Lego makes a great quickie simulator for figuring out mazes for gaming levels" - Microserfs. Douglas Coupland. Flamingo. 1995. p76
  • "Life is short, the art long" - Hipprocates
  • "Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse." - Lazarus Long. Time Enough For Love. Robert A. Heinlein. NEL 1974. p259
  • "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever" - Mahatma Gandhi
  • "Lord High Fixer n. For any given installation, the oldest living member of the original programming team." - Computer Contradictory, Second Edition. MIT Press, Cambridge, Mass., 1995.
  • "I never fall for women that are any good for me Kryten, it's either heart breakers or moral garbage on legs" - Lister. Gunmen of the Apocalypse. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 1993 Red Dwarf
  • "Love is a sickness that holds back your career and makes you want to spend all your money" - Rimmer. Confidence and Paranoia. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 199? Red Dwarf
  • "Love is a device invented by bank managers to make us overdrawn" - Rimmer. Confidence and Paranoia. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 199? Red Dwarf
  • "Camille, I think I E5 A9 08 B7 you" - Kryten. Camille. Red Dwarf IV. Copyright BBC Enterprises 1991 Red Dwarf
  • "All right, ok, this is good " - President Shepherd. The American President. Castle Rock & Universal 1995
  • "Love (at first sight) Advanced mutual compatibility on the basis of a primary ident" - Camille. Camille. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 1991 Red Dwarf
  • "What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god!" - Hamlet
  • "The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time" - Samuel Smiles
  • "Men fall into one of two catagories: wet and keen or bastards. The bastards always get the girls ..." - The Tall Guy. LWT & Virgin Vision. 1989
  • "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way No man can be friends with a women that he finds attractive. He alway want to have sex with them" - Harry Burns. Billy Crystal. When Harry Met Sally
  • "...talking between men and women never solves anything. Where we think, they feel. They are creatures of the heart" - Don Pedro. Anthony Quinn. A Walk in the Clouds. 1995
  • "Captain, I am not a merry man" - Worf. Q-pid. ST:TNG. Star Trek
  • "For the money. For the glory. For the fun. But mostly for the money." - Burt Reynolds. Smokie and the Bandit. Universal. 1977
  • "All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move." - Arabian Proverb
  • "You can't be a nonconformist if you don't wear the proper uniform" - Midnight at the Well of Souls. Jack L. Chalker. Pan 1977. p7
  • "God I love nurses, they're so disgustingly clinical" - Captain Edmund Blackadder. General Hospital. Blackadder Goes Forth. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 1991
  • "Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature, An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature; Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses Contribute to your hunting skill and natural defenses. I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations, A singular development of cat communication That obviates your basic hedonistic predilections For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection. A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents, You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance. And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotions. Oh Spot, the complex level of behavior you display Connotes a fairly well-developed cognitive array; And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend, I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend. " - Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Schisms
  • "I just called my office, some good news, everything went bad without me" - Jack Lawrence. Billy Crystal. Father's Day. Warner Bros. 1997
  • "How's the opera? Wonderful, I've never slept bette" - Mulder/X 2.4 X-Files
  • "For telerate drop pages add 1 to the width as THAT STUPID TELERATE MOB deliver a headliner of 81 charcters long. I'm too fucking lazy and pissed off to make major changes to the driver to fix this problem this is nice and easy." - PM
  • "A hypothetic paradox: What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearinng, and a squad of Imperial Storm Troopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?" - Tom Galloway
  • "Of course I'm paranoid, everyone's trying to kill me" - Garak, DS9. Star Trek
  • "Even paranoids have enemies" - Kissinger
  • "Most people can't see past the surface, especially when what they see is so beautiful" - Odo. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. A Simple Investigation. Stardate 50626.6. Copyright Paramount Pictures 1996
  • "Pub... a meeting place where people attempt to achieve an advanced state of mental incompetance by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks" - Kryten. Timeslides. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC
  • "Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input that shuts down the system for days"
  • "The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of 1 a date, 2 his wife, 3 a better looking and rich male friend"
  • "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think it's two hours. That's relativity " - Albert Einstein
  • "If they come back, they are yours. If they don't, they never were."
  • "It appears we have lost our sex appeal, Captain." - Tuvok, Star Trek Voyager 2.4.
  • "... frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis" - Life, the Universe and Everything. Douglas Adams. Pan. 1982
  • "To speed up, you slow down; to slow down, you speed up." - The cat who walks though walls. Robert A Heinlein. p109
  • "In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri, were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri"
  • "The girl already likes you, it means you're already half way home" - ST:DS9 His Way Vic Fontain. 1998
  • "This above all - to thine own self be true" - Polonius. Hamlet Act I, Scene III
  • "To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it" - Samuel Butler 1835-1902
  • "Top 20 Signs That You Need a Vacation #2.The radiation from your monitor has burnt your shadow onto the wall. Kazak the hound of space" - dilbert.com
  • "Truth is more than mental exercise" - Thurgood Marshall
  • "I feel,... under utilized." - Neelix. Star Trek: Voyager 2.2, Initiations.
  • "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes (Who will watch the guardians) "
  • "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" - Hunter Thompson. Hackers. p386. Insanely Great p217.
  • "What are they Bones? You mean are they alien illusions, that sort of thing? I asked you first." - Mudd's Women, Kirk/Bones, TOS 1.05
  • "Better that I devote myself to study that other great mystery of the universe - women" - Doc Brown. Back to the Future II. Univeral 198?
  • "word processor n. A text editor with 200 unused features." - Computer Contradictory, Second Edition. MIT Press, Cambridge, Mass., 1995.
  • "People forget the brain is the biggest erogenous zone." - The Big Lebowski
  • "how inappropriate to call this planet earth when it is clearly ocean" - Arthur C Clarke
  • "emotional independence begins with the development of inner resources" - anonymous
  • "It's mysterious, that element. How can you meet a person and be so aware. It's as if something inside you wakes up. Postmortem. Patricia Cornwell." - Warner Books. 1990. p67,
  • "microprocessor n. Twenty years of architectural blundering concentrated into a single chip." - Computer Contradictory, Second Edition. MIT Press, Cambridge, Mass., 1995.
  • "You think I have no emotions, believe me I do, I just don't always show them " - odo ds9 his way
  • "Rules and models destroy genius and art" - William Hazlitt
  • "The classic problem in acquisitions is that the acquiring company doesn't really understand what they are buying and they kill the goose that lays the golden egg. They don't intend to; but they do. They destroy the very thing they want to acquire." - Disclosure, Michael Crichton, 1993.
 
Copyright © Ralph Hosking 1997-2017