Random thoughts

- Why should I be the only one to suffer my nonsense? :)

2024-02-19 - Monday comes around once a week. February comes around once a year. 2024 will come around again it just takes longer.
2024-02-18 - Making a chicken omelette feels like I'm taking the piss.
2024-02-14 - I wonder when plumbers are late if they are told "to get the lead out"?
2024-01-22 - Stories about Mike Tyson are all hit and myth.
2023-07-17 - I'm not sure what's more evil - busses that don't have the route number on the back so you don't know if you've missed your bus or trams that do so you do you know missed your tram.
2022-11-07 - When it’s possible to phone the moon I wonder what the area code will be. I suggest +31 (3rd planet, 1st moon). Mars becomes +4, Phobos +41, Diemos +42. Interplanetary dialing Luxembourg becomes +3 352 [localnumber] and US-NY directory assistance becomes +3 1 212 555 1212. Latency will be an issue.
2022-03-16 - Who died more often, Buffy Summers or Daniel Jackson?
2022-02-23 - TV said "AI". Brain replied: "Old McDonald was a robot AI AI oh!"
2021-11-18 - Thyme is of the essence.
2021-01-10 - Do you think people are getting around DC saying "Hail Hydra" to each other?
2019-12-22 - Is 'smut' the past tense of 'smitten'?
2019-03-31 - In 9 months a lot of single mums will have 2020 hindsight. I hope they're ok.
2018-10-10 - I've decided next time I'm asked my height I'll answer "one meter, twenty eight and a half inches."
2018-09-23 - If something is unfathomable does that mean it's not waterproof to six feet?
2017-07-17 - Teal'c has 'resting bitch face'
2017-04-22 - The Empire needs to work on their naming convention. A Star Destroyer doesn't destroy stars. A Death Star does destroy planets.
2016-11-10 - I expect someone else has said it but I just worked it out; is food served on aircraft known as 'snacks on a plane'?
2016-05-06 - Did O'Neill ever use gum and a paperclip to fix the Stargate?
2015-11-16 - "Eww what virus does your computer get from a sex toy... If only they used a Faraday cage... and we have a new name for condoms"
2015-09-30 - I wonder if anyone has made an RFID tag using valves. I kind of hope so. And if it's active I hope it's steam powered.
2015-07-20 - re Mick Fanning vs shark I can just see the shark being teased by his mates... "dude, you got spanked by a human on live TV"
2015-04-04 - Do smoke detector battery expiry alarms ever announce themselves during the day?
2014-07-25 - Why is it I only sing "the stairs in the house go up and down" when I walk up the stairs and not on the way down?
2014-03-10 - If the aged pension wasn't run by the government it would be called a Ponzi Scheme
2014-02-19 - You've heard of 'wind chill', I'm working on 'wind chili', or if you prefer 'chili wind'
2014-01-18 - Damn it. My time machine still doesn't work.
2013-10-21 - Are zombies serial killers?
2013-10-12 - Broken pencils are pointless
2013-10-02 - Not sure what's best, a fresh bed or fresh bread.
2013-09-26 - If someone is mad for toilet humor does that make them potty?
2013-09-25 - terrorist, noun: A loser murderer.
2013-08-17 - It occurred to me Friday night that Monopoly money is Playdough
2013-08-11 - Why aren't toddlers called humanlings? Life would be so much funnier.
2013-07-07 - I'd not thought of that - a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories!
2013-06-15 - Does sugar free red bull = light red bull = pink bull?
2013-06-09 - Is it just me or do pics of Rudd with his arms around kiddies remind you of similiar pics with Saddam cica 1991?
2013-06-09 - I don't have the balls for golf
2013-06-06 - Bandanas, on goannas, are causing lots of stares
2013-05-30 - Is it in bad taste to walk through ICU whilst running my finger around the rim of a glass?
2013-05-28 - I wonder if 'they' sell barley in Bali? (Edit: these questions are important)
2013-05-27 - Green Lantern Tea - superhero in cup form
2013-05-23 - Curiously I don't say "pumpernickel" very often.
2013-05-17 - Is the 'Emergency Assembly Point' where you go when you're told to pull yourself together?
2013-05-14 - Is the clock tower the neighborhood watch?
2013-04-12 - Is weather radar cloud computing?
2013-04-11 - There's noo boo like debut like noo boo I noo
2013-03-26 - Why is the save icon still a floppy disk, shouldn't it be a cloud by now?
2013-03-20 - arsenic: I guess that's a potential side-effect of shaving your own arse?
2013-03-13 - Where's my robot maid / hover bike / jet pack / flying car!?
2013-02-22 - I might be spending too much time with my toy aardvark - he's started to appear in my dreams.
2013-01-09 - Is it wrong I'm watching 'The Walking Dead' with a plush toy Aardvark?
2012-12-28 - When people's profiles say "I'm an animal lover" do you think they mean they eat meat? (DH: it's either that or they romance it)
2012-11-30 - Disgusting thought of the day – rather than going to the trouble of having a shower, why don’t I leave a can of engine degreaser by the couch?
2012-11-24 - Isn't the term 'afterlife' an oxymoron?
2012-11-24 - Do you realise that this time next week next month will be next year?
2012-11-17 - Is a self-portrait an iPhoto? Or an iPic?
2012-10-20 - What a funny old fellow is Humphrey
2012-10-17 - If Flipper "is faster than lightning" why is the theme song so slow?
2012-09-28 - Why doesn't Ikea supply flat pack coffins?
2012-08-08 - Would you use the term 'spag bol' or 'spag bog'?
2012-08-05 - I wonder how many doomsday survival shelters will be available cheap next year?
2012-06-04 - I wonder how many pawn shops do have an adult entertainment section?
2012-06-04 - Nobody knows that I walk around the house patting my head, rubbing my tummy and saying "moo" do they?
2012-05-18 - Is Max Rebo an aardvark?
2012-05-02 - I wonder if the usher at the ballet is known as a ballet valet?
2012-04-20 - Shotguns from this point forward will be know as zombie guns
2012-04-18 - I wonder how a gherkin and onion sandwich would taste.
2012-03-08 - NRL is pronounced as "Narelle", right?
2012-03-08 - iPad2 vs iPad3 - you're comparing Apples with Apples
2012-02-10 - Please leave a message after the goat. Moo.
2012-01-23 - Is it rude to talk during a silent movie?
2011-08-15 - I wonder if organic farms ever use the term 'battery hens not included'?
2011-08-03 - Contact us on 1300xxxx for an obligation-free goat. Moo.
2011-07-11 - If everybody likes you then you are doing something wrong.
2011-06-09 - I wonder if it's possible to purchase squirrel oil capsules?
2011-05-15 - I don’t know what the guy (?) next door has been doing for the last 3 hours but it intermittently requires the application of a cordless hammer
2011-04-13 - Random question: how would vodka and radish juice taste?
2011-03-31 - Red Bull powered pepper steak pie burps
2011-03-25 - I'm sure there's a joke somewhere when combining the terms 'stacks on' and 'shagpile'.
2011-03-17 - Do you think that people that work in toilet paper factories have a high level of job satisfaction?
2011-03-09 - Old MacDonald was dyslexic OEOEI
2011-02-03 - I'm begining to wonder if Charlie Sheen is the 'half man' named in the title of his former job.
2010-12-21 - Do female prisoners get incarcerated in penal facilities?
2010-12-12 - Re banking: it's now ok to break a contract and not be penalized? I’m looking forward to trying that with my electricity and telephone suppliers!
2010-12-06 - Some of the chocolate coins at Coles are not gold but silver, I'm trying to work out what that means.
2010-12-02 - Would there be fewer driver fatalities if cars had rear facing seats?
2010-11-30 - Does a trip down mammary lane have something to do with former girlfriends?
2010-11-27 - Do you think Haiti might have better luck if it were renamed 'Likey'?
2010-11-20 - I wonder if anyone ever goes for a course of Botox before playing poker
2010-11-18 - Without trying to be too much of a cynic why should heterosexuals be the only ones to suffer the consequences of marriage?
2010-11-16 - If you're missing hair have you been 'Shanghaired'?
2010-11-16 - News: 'Shark circles Cottesloe Beach'... the half lap over the sand must be difficult
2010-11-03 - Re a packet of ham: it's 2% fat and 97% fat free - I am a little concerned about the content of that missing 1%
2010-11-03 - Re a cleaning ad: is it really important my toilet is 'squeaky clean'? Afterall I'm really not going to test that!
2010-10-06 - Is a power boat a 'watermobile'?
2010-07-30 - A BBC World show is "new this August", sounded like "Nudist August"
2010-07-25 - I wonder if parents ever name their kids 'John Smith' just to mess with them?
2010-07-07 - Is the spoonerism of 'mixed nuts' something to do with neutered puppies?
2010-06-21 - What is the Klingon term for "d'oh!"?
2010-05-02 - Crumpets don't like being frozen, micro-waved awake then toasted - they end up as shrinkies.
2010-04-30 - Question: if you wear a snuggie made of shamwows is it possible to get out of a water filled bath?
2010-04-27 - Are forklifts delivered on a pallet? And if so how do you get it off the truck?
2010-04-26 - So, 90+ years ago a group of stars get slaughtered and we get a day off? That hardly seems fair.
2010-03-08 - That can't be good; dreamt I was moving house AND had an assignment due
2010-02-28 - Are square pizzas delivered in round boxes?
2010-01-18 - How is it I've not worked in an office with air conditioner that works since Hardware St Melbourne in 1991?
2009-12-07 - Is it fair that a whale attempting to evolve beaches itself we say "no... we’re on top, back in the water"?
2009-12-06 - Beer googles. n. The acceptance while drunk that search results look better than they really are
2009-12-05 - If snakes could speak would they have a word for arms?
2009-12-01 - I wonder if people with the name 'Winterbottom' ever sit on a cold surface and thnk "<sigh>... that's fair"
2009-11-28 - Having cleaned the microwave oven I no longer have to order biohazard warning labels
2009-11-05 - Hmmm... Red Bull powered gherkin burps
2009-11-03 - You've got to keep people on their toes - it makes it difficult for them to tread on yours
2009-10-29 - You don't hear the terms bidexterous or ambisexual very often
2009-10-29 - How long does it take to write an infinite loop? D'oh, not long. Trying running it!
2009-10-26 - On a toxicity scale of 1 to 17 I wonder where a peanut butter and vegemite sandwich rates
2009-10-16 - What winds me up? A big plastic key!
2009-10-06 - If a trauma surgeon from another planet landed on earth would he/she/it say "take me to your bleeder"?
2009-10-03 - Is 'headline' a nautical term for the queue to the toilet?
2009-09-16 - After brainwashing are you supposed to hang around or tumble dry?
2009-09-15 - I wonder that if in response to "Hail, Caesar!" anyone every replied "meh"?
2009-09-01 - What's the difference between a 'super power' and a 'super duper power'? Is it just the cape?
2009-08-21 - You don't hear the term 'faux foe' very often.
2009-08-20 - Is the concept of a doona kebab difficult to swallow?
2009-08-10 - Keep it simple - we don't have time to make it complicated.
2009-08-05 - Does panti-social behaviour have something to do with prostitution?
2009-08-04 - If you use fibre optic cable to make a tin can telephone can you make a video call?
2009-07-22 - Is a suicide helpline really what it sounds like?
2009-07-15 - I wonder how long it takes to cook 5 packets of 2 minute noodles.
2009-07-01 - I sleep nice and warm under my Euro doona but my nose gets cold. Perhaps I should try a snorkle?
2009-06-23 - Too bad I don't know morse code better - it could make my coughing so much more interesting.
2009-06-17 - What's worse: drinking cough syrup straight from the bottle or from a shot glass?
2009-06-16 - I wonder what sheep count when they can't sleep? [edited 2009-06-20 drenching guns?]
2009-06-16 - No, I'm not counting like a horse - my foot has gone to sleep!
2009-06-16 - What's the mental equivalent of a tumbleweed?
2009-06-04 - How many people are required to muck out the cages of an infinite number of monkeys?
2009-06-04 - Did global warming thaw the cold war?
2009-06-03 - Is it bad to judge a book by its dust jacket?
2009-06-02 - If you fall asleep on the train do you wake up in a box in lost and found?
2009-05-21 - "How much is that doggie in the window?" from my new album "Songs not to sing in Amsterdam"
2009-05-18 - Mooning the universe is always a good way to end the day. Pants off!
2009-05-16 - I might have to do some shopping - when I hold the refrigerator up to my ear I can hear the ocean.
2009-05-13 - What's the relationship between a silverfish and a goldfish? Is there a platinumfish? Or uraniumfish?
2007-05-27 - You can't put a square root in a round hole