Random thoughts

- Why should I be the only one to suffer my nonsense? :)

2022-11-07 - When it’s possible to phone the moon I wonder what the area code will be. I suggest +31 (3rd planet, 1st moon). Mars becomes +4, Phobos +41, Diemos +42. Interplanetary dialing Luxembourg becomes +3 352 [localnumber] and US-NY directory assistance becomes +3 1 212 555 1212. Latency will be an issue.
2022-03-16 - Who died more often, Buffy Summers or Daniel Jackson?
2022-02-23 - TV said "AI". Brain replied: "Old McDonald was a robot AI AI oh!"
2021-11-18 - Thyme is of the essence.
2021-01-10 - Do you think people are getting around DC saying "Hail Hydra" to each other?
2019-12-22 - Is 'smut' the past tense of 'smitten'?
2019-03-31 - In 9 months a lot of single mums will have 2020 hindsight. I hope they're ok.
2018-10-10 - I've decided next time I'm asked my height I'll answer "one meter, twenty eight and a half inches."
2018-09-23 - If something is unfathomable does that mean it's not waterproof to six feet?
2017-07-17 - Teal'c has 'resting bitch face'
2017-04-22 - The Empire needs to work on their naming convention. A Star Destroyer doesn't destroy stars. A Death Star does destroy planets.
2016-11-10 - I expect someone else has said it but I just worked it out; is food served on aircraft known as 'snacks on a plane'?
2016-05-06 - Did O'Neill ever use gum and a paperclip to fix the Stargate?
2015-11-16 - "Eww what virus does your computer get from a sex toy... If only they used a Faraday cage... and we have a new name for condoms"
2015-09-30 - I wonder if anyone has made an RFID tag using valves. I kind of hope so. And if it's active I hope it's steam powered.
2015-07-20 - re Mick Fanning vs shark I can just see the shark being teased by his mates... "dude, you got spanked by a human on live TV"
2015-04-04 - Do smoke detector battery expiry alarms ever announce themselves during the day?
2014-07-25 - Why is it I only sing "the stairs in the house go up and down" when I walk up the stairs and not on the way down?
2014-03-10 - If the aged pension wasn't run by the government it would be called a Ponzi Scheme
2014-02-19 - You've heard of 'wind chill', I'm working on 'wind chili', or if you prefer 'chili wind'
2014-01-18 - Damn it. My time machine still doesn't work.
2013-10-21 - Are zombies serial killers?
2013-10-12 - Broken pencils are pointless
2013-10-02 - Not sure what's best, a fresh bed or fresh bread.
2013-09-26 - If someone is mad for toilet humor does that make them potty?
2013-09-25 - terrorist, noun: A loser murderer.
2013-08-17 - It occurred to me Friday night that Monopoly money is Playdough
2013-08-11 - Why aren't toddlers called humanlings? Life would be so much funnier.
2013-07-07 - I'd not thought of that - a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories!
2013-06-15 - Does sugar free red bull = light red bull = pink bull?
2013-06-09 - Is it just me or do pics of Rudd with his arms around kiddies remind you of similiar pics with Saddam cica 1991?
2013-06-09 - I don't have the balls for golf
2013-06-06 - Bandanas, on goannas, are causing lots of stares
2013-05-30 - Is it in bad taste to walk through ICU whilst running my finger around the rim of a glass?
2013-05-28 - I wonder if 'they' sell barley in Bali? (Edit: these questions are important)
2013-05-27 - Green Lantern Tea - superhero in cup form
2013-05-23 - Curiously I don't say "pumpernickel" very often.
2013-05-17 - Is the 'Emergency Assembly Point' where you go when you're told to pull yourself together?
2013-05-14 - Is the clock tower the neighborhood watch?
2013-04-12 - Is weather radar cloud computing?
2013-04-11 - There's noo boo like debut like noo boo I noo
2013-03-26 - Why is the save icon still a floppy disk, shouldn't it be a cloud by now?
2013-03-20 - arsenic: I guess that's a potential side-effect of shaving your own arse?
2013-03-13 - Where's my robot maid / hover bike / jet pack / flying car!?
2013-02-22 - I might be spending too much time with my toy aardvark - he's started to appear in my dreams.
2013-01-09 - Is it wrong I'm watching 'The Walking Dead' with a plush toy Aardvark?
2012-12-28 - When people's profiles say "I'm an animal lover" do you think they mean they eat meat? (DH: it's either that or they romance it)
2012-11-30 - Disgusting thought of the day – rather than going to the trouble of having a shower, why don’t I leave a can of engine degreaser by the couch?
2012-11-24 - Isn't the term 'afterlife' an oxymoron?
2012-11-24 - Do you realise that this time next week next month will be next year?
2012-11-17 - Is a self-portrait an iPhoto? Or an iPic?
2012-10-20 - What a funny old fellow is Humphrey
2012-10-17 - If Flipper "is faster than lightning" why is the theme song so slow?
2012-09-28 - Why doesn't Ikea supply flat pack coffins?
2012-08-08 - Would you use the term 'spag bol' or 'spag bog'?
2012-08-05 - I wonder how many doomsday survival shelters will be available cheap next year?
2012-06-04 - I wonder how many pawn shops do have an adult entertainment section?
2012-06-04 - Nobody knows that I walk around the house patting my head, rubbing my tummy and saying "moo" do they?
2012-05-18 - Is Max Rebo an aardvark?
2012-05-02 - I wonder if the usher at the ballet is known as a ballet valet?
2012-04-20 - Shotguns from this point forward will be know as zombie guns
2012-04-18 - I wonder how a gherkin and onion sandwich would taste.
2012-03-08 - NRL is pronounced as "Narelle", right?
2012-03-08 - iPad2 vs iPad3 - you're comparing Apples with Apples
2012-02-10 - Please leave a message after the goat. Moo.
2012-01-23 - Is it rude to talk during a silent movie?
2011-08-15 - I wonder if organic farms ever use the term 'battery hens not included'?
2011-08-03 - Contact us on 1300xxxx for an obligation-free goat. Moo.
2011-07-11 - If everybody likes you then you are doing something wrong.
2011-06-09 - I wonder if it's possible to purchase squirrel oil capsules?
2011-05-15 - I don’t know what the guy (?) next door has been doing for the last 3 hours but it intermittently requires the application of a cordless hammer
2011-04-13 - Random question: how would vodka and radish juice taste?
2011-03-31 - Red Bull powered pepper steak pie burps
2011-03-25 - I'm sure there's a joke somewhere when combining the terms 'stacks on' and 'shagpile'.
2011-03-17 - Do you think that people that work in toilet paper factories have a high level of job satisfaction?
2011-03-09 - Old MacDonald was dyslexic OEOEI
2011-02-03 - I'm begining to wonder if Charlie Sheen is the 'half man' named in the title of his former job.
2010-12-21 - Do female prisoners get incarcerated in penal facilities?
2010-12-12 - Re banking: it's now ok to break a contract and not be penalized? I’m looking forward to trying that with my electricity and telephone suppliers!
2010-12-06 - Some of the chocolate coins at Coles are not gold but silver, I'm trying to work out what that means.
2010-12-02 - Would there be fewer driver fatalities if cars had rear facing seats?
2010-11-30 - Does a trip down mammary lane have something to do with former girlfriends?
2010-11-27 - Do you think Haiti might have better luck if it were renamed 'Likey'?
2010-11-20 - I wonder if anyone ever goes for a course of Botox before playing poker
2010-11-18 - Without trying to be too much of a cynic why should heterosexuals be the only ones to suffer the consequences of marriage?
2010-11-16 - If you're missing hair have you been 'Shanghaired'?
2010-11-16 - News: 'Shark circles Cottesloe Beach'... the half lap over the sand must be difficult
2010-11-03 - Re a packet of ham: it's 2% fat and 97% fat free - I am a little concerned about the content of that missing 1%
2010-11-03 - Re a cleaning ad: is it really important my toilet is 'squeaky clean'? Afterall I'm really not going to test that!
2010-10-06 - Is a power boat a 'watermobile'?
2010-07-30 - A BBC World show is "new this August", sounded like "Nudist August"
2010-07-25 - I wonder if parents ever name their kids 'John Smith' just to mess with them?
2010-07-07 - Is the spoonerism of 'mixed nuts' something to do with neutered puppies?
2010-06-21 - What is the Klingon term for "d'oh!"?
2010-05-02 - Crumpets don't like being frozen, micro-waved awake then toasted - they end up as shrinkies.
2010-04-30 - Question: if you wear a snuggie made of shamwows is it possible to get out of a water filled bath?
2010-04-27 - Are forklifts delivered on a pallet? And if so how do you get it off the truck?
2010-04-26 - So, 90+ years ago a group of stars get slaughtered and we get a day off? That hardly seems fair.
2010-03-08 - That can't be good; dreamt I was moving house AND had an assignment due
2010-02-28 - Are square pizzas delivered in round boxes?
2010-01-18 - How is it I've not worked in an office with air conditioner that works since Hardware St Melbourne in 1991?
2009-12-07 - Is it fair that a whale attempting to evolve beaches itself we say "no... we’re on top, back in the water"?
2009-12-06 - Beer googles. n. The acceptance while drunk that search results look better than they really are
2009-12-05 - If snakes could speak would they have a word for arms?
2009-12-01 - I wonder if people with the name 'Winterbottom' ever sit on a cold surface and thnk "<sigh>... that's fair"
2009-11-28 - Having cleaned the microwave oven I no longer have to order biohazard warning labels
2009-11-05 - Hmmm... Red Bull powered gherkin burps
2009-11-03 - You've got to keep people on their toes - it makes it difficult for them to tread on yours
2009-10-29 - You don't hear the terms bidexterous or ambisexual very often
2009-10-29 - How long does it take to write an infinite loop? D'oh, not long. Trying running it!
2009-10-26 - On a toxicity scale of 1 to 17 I wonder where a peanut butter and vegemite sandwich rates
2009-10-16 - What winds me up? A big plastic key!
2009-10-06 - If a trauma surgeon from another planet landed on earth would he/she/it say "take me to your bleeder"?
2009-10-03 - Is 'headline' a nautical term for the queue to the toilet?
2009-09-16 - After brainwashing are you supposed to hang around or tumble dry?
2009-09-15 - I wonder that if in response to "Hail, Caesar!" anyone every replied "meh"?
2009-09-01 - What's the difference between a 'super power' and a 'super duper power'? Is it just the cape?
2009-08-21 - You don't hear the term 'faux foe' very often.
2009-08-20 - Is the concept of a doona kebab difficult to swallow?
2009-08-10 - Keep it simple - we don't have time to make it complicated.
2009-08-05 - Does panti-social behaviour have something to do with prostitution?
2009-08-04 - If you use fibre optic cable to make a tin can telephone can you make a video call?
2009-07-22 - Is a suicide helpline really what it sounds like?
2009-07-15 - I wonder how long it takes to cook 5 packets of 2 minute noodles.
2009-07-01 - I sleep nice and warm under my Euro doona but my nose gets cold. Perhaps I should try a snorkle?
2009-06-23 - Too bad I don't know morse code better - it could make my coughing so much more interesting.
2009-06-17 - What's worse: drinking cough syrup straight from the bottle or from a shot glass?
2009-06-16 - I wonder what sheep count when they can't sleep? [edited 2009-06-20 drenching guns?]
2009-06-16 - No, I'm not counting like a horse - my foot has gone to sleep!
2009-06-16 - What's the mental equivalent of a tumbleweed?
2009-06-04 - How many people are required to muck out the cages of an infinite number of monkeys?
2009-06-04 - Did global warming thaw the cold war?
2009-06-03 - Is it bad to judge a book by its dust jacket?
2009-06-02 - If you fall asleep on the train do you wake up in a box in lost and found?
2009-05-21 - "How much is that doggie in the window?" from my new album "Songs not to sing in Amsterdam"
2009-05-18 - Mooning the universe is always a good way to end the day. Pants off!
2009-05-16 - I might have to do some shopping - when I hold the refrigerator up to my ear I can hear the ocean.
2009-05-13 - What's the relationship between a silverfish and a goldfish? Is there a platinumfish? Or uraniumfish?
2007-05-27 - You can't put a square root in a round hole